♥ SHARON'S Sweets

2011-02-28T00:42:00.002+08:00

for my friends who still come here,
i might be closing down this space pretty soon.
just so you guys dont get lost,
im at Tumblr now.

http://sexyredthong.tumblr.com

2011-02-23T11:55:00.002+08:00

i have ditched Blogger.

http://sexyredthong.tumblr.com

2011-02-22T23:06:00.002+08:00

how can anyone look so pretty and mesmerizing?

2011-02-22T03:26:00.004+08:00

theres only 1 thing that keeps me awake at this time. (besides insomnia)

and thats music. how can i ever live without music.

music drives my fears away, music comforts me, music brings me back to my ground when i've drifted too far off, music lets me know nothing in the world can bring me down.

music makes me live for this moment. cos only this moment is real.

i post videos of Paramore all the time, on my blog, on FB. im not sure if anyone ever watches them but you are really missing out on life if you're not a fan of Paramore. its like a religion, really. okay, i shouldnt expect every one to be like me, but trust me, just sit down and listen to their songs when you have nothing on the agenda.

i have this one, recorded 3 days ago at their South America Tour in Rio De Janeiro.

at 4:10, 2 fans went on stage to sing and play the guitar for Misery Business. its so amazing. i wish i was there(like i dont wish i was at every one of their concerts. lol.). really, this is so much fun.

the littlest things like that bring a smile to my face. this is what money can never buy you.

good night, world :)

2011-02-21T22:01:00.001+08:00

19th;

had dinner with Mom and Sis at Aunt Cynthia's place and we chatted all the way till 11PM when Aunt and Uncle dropped me off at Clarke Quay. she made me drink Heineken after dinner despite my Mom telling her not to cos i was going for drinks after that. lol. and she stuffed all these Mentos sweets into my tiny bag cos she knows people tend to need some sweets or mints when they're drinking. cool hur. lol.

for some reasons, we ended up at Arena.

had so much fun on the dancefloor but not so fun the moment i reached home.

i started feeling so sick that i slept 2/3 of my Sunday away. basically, i slept 4 times in 24 hours. lol. im still feeling the sickness in my stomach today and right now. oh god.

oh. and it was me and Chris's 6th month that day and i totally forgot about it until when he mentioned it 20 minutes before the clock striked midnight. hehe. oops.

i feel so tired. i havent touched my violin in 3 days including today. i need to get more quality rest tonight to get back on track. argh.

2011-02-19T02:32:00.005+08:00

i'm not the same kid from your memory.
well, now i can fend for myself.
xx

2011-02-17T20:15:00.001+08:00

this is my latest post on Facebook.

"You know what kind of girls I despise? I despise girls who do not let their boyfriends hang out with their friends! Or throw bloody tantrums when he's out! And girls who make their boyfriends delete me off their friend-list just cos I'm an ex-girlfriend. I don't blame you if you feel inferior but seriously! Get a life!"

dont you just agree with me?! its much worse if a guy does that to his girlfriend. hes just.. not a guy. lol.

okay, so i had my lesson at my place last night and my teacher dropped a bomb on me. remember me saying that im taking my exam in September? apparently she says i dont have to wait till then to do it, i can do it in July. i was like, whattt???

and sure enough, it gave me insomnia last night cos my whole mind was revolving around the exam and the exam pieces. good lord! i have 5 months to go and i've just started on Grade 1 Sight-Reading. i dont even wanna think about it. its a nightmare. whats more, im her only student whos taking it in July. i know its a good thing that she has confidence in me but really, its gonna give me insomnia all the time. like the quality of my sleep isnt bad enough!

i wasted no time anyways. this is the first 2 lines of Kemp's Jig and Moon River plus the next 2 lines of both songs which i started on last night. i like Kemp's Jig and i've been playing it so much that i've memorized the notes which you might notice from the video that im not even looking at the sheet music. hehe. as for Moon River, i think its really boring. theres a 3rd song, Caribbean Sunshine which is not recorded cos i just started on it last night and im still pretty strange towards it.

i look totally geeky hur. haha. a practice session(scales, sight-reading, 3 pieces of songs) can really wear me out. i always feel tired after each session. mentally and physically exhausting! even swimming is not as tiring.

so i am officially a full-time violin student now, i guess.
i really need to take a shower to freshen up.

work hard towards your dreams, people!!

2011-02-17T03:52:00.000+08:00

"you're in the last minute of your life,
you're dying,
you're drifting away,
you're closing your eyes,
you're leaving,
you're not coming back again..

you're thinking what you've achieved in this lifetime,
what you have done wrong,
what you wished you had done right..

but what hurts the most are what you never got to do,
what you never got to say,
what you never got to let people know,
what you never get the chance to do again.."

this minute might be your next minute.
this minute might be the next minute of someone you love.
death does not discriminate.
it gives no warning, no preparation.

do what you wish you had the chance to do if this was your last minute.
say what you wish you had the chance to say if this was your last minute.
do it now.

- sharon, with ♥

2011-02-16T17:46:00.000+08:00

"you're mine. say, yes."
"is that a trick question?"
"what trick question?"

*few seconds of silence*

"you're mine. say, yes."
"is that a trick question?"
"no? what trick question?"
"okay. then, yes."
"you think i'm so cheapskate? use trick questions.."

epic.
that was part of our conversation on Sunday.

when you have passion and determination,
you've won half the battle.
you know you're getting somewhere when your brother unknowingly whistles the piece of music you've been playing and practicing over and over again for days.

and the battle continues.

2011-02-15T19:28:00.000+08:00

i found this photo taken in late 2007 when i was still working for Jim Beam.

it was one of the best times in my life, i've gotta say. one of those assignments i looked forward to every weekend at the club. i still remember making sales of 30 over bottles that Halloween. the club was seriously my 2nd home at that point of time. made some friends there who are still my friends up till now :)

and i found this one too. Speed was still so young then. now hes already taller than me. how time flies hur. (which reminds me, he bought lunch home for me for the first time ever today. how sweet!)

im getting bored of my hair. maybe i should chop it off to that length in the photos. i just realized i'll look like Ally with that length and the bangs. maybe i should just ask for some suggestions the next time im at Twister.

so, it was Valentine's Day yesterday and i bet this post is expected to be about how i spent my Valentine's with my boyfriend.

well, im just gonna say straight up that we didnt celebrate our first V-Day. honestly speaking, im kinda worn out from all the birthday and PH celebrations all the way since December. and besides, maybe because of the constant CNY-gambling, we didnt even feel like Valentine's was just around the corner.

it felt like just any other day. and every thing is overrated and overpriced on this day, i refuse to be like all the other girls with flowers and gifts from their lovers. it doesnt make me feel specially special to receive something on V-Day but if flowers and gifts were to happen on any other ordinary day, thats what makes me feel special. i think im really weird. but you gotta admit what i just said is so true.

and the thing about me is, i've been receiving bouquets of flowers my whole life(im not bragging here but its true) that they dont excite me anymore. im sick of them. yeah, they can look really pretty but soon they wither and die and i have to throw them away. whats the fucking point? wouldnt it be better to receive something more practical like diamonds? hahaha. nah. just kidding. diamonds dont excite me(cos sick of them too. i'd prefer Swarovski crystals) either unless its an engagement ring. well, i wouldnt mind just a stalk of red or black rose. just one stalk by itself. without all the wrappings and shit around it. thats me. skip all that girl-y stuff man.

i guess my V-Day was spent with my boyfriend a day earlier on Sunday, just lying and snuggling in bed, whispering to each other so we wont wake my sister up. but trust me, its my best Valentine's ever cos i've got myself a really nice boyfriend. i love him like nuts. do not touch him unless youre tired of living. i will crush your skull with the pommel of my Sai-s that are lying in my living room right now. in case you dont know what that is, google 'Elektra', the pair of weapons she uses are what im talking about. youve been warned.

hahaha. oh my god. im so funny.

the other post that was written to him like last week? well, i admit things are not as serious as i made it look. i got carried away cos i was really temperamental at the period of time. i was a bit harsh and im sorry if i was, Baby.

2011-02-14T18:28:00.000+08:00

you have to watch this even if you do not play the violin nor listen to classical music.

this is Samvel Yervinyan(i wish i could have him as my teacher) playing solo at Yanni's concert. he is so bad ass and he knows it. just watch him and be blown away.

and this is Ben Chan, playing the exact same song. i swear to God i would have fell off my chair if i was sitting on one when i watched this for the first time. that. violin. is. on. fire. so, so dope.

its okay, you dont have to thank me for sharing something so awesome :p

2011-02-14T02:24:00.001+08:00

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO Y'ALL
may this day bring lovers together and reconcile the lost ones :)

i've finally received 2 out of 3 super-belated presents from the boyfriend. they took so long cos they were shipped from the U.S and Baby was too busy with work at a period of time(plus VPost account screw-ups) to verify the parcels that arrived at VPost U.S.

this is 1 of it. Hayley's Brand New Eyes Hardcover Journal.

thats Paramore spelled backwards due to mirror image.

few years ago, there was a period of time when both my sister and brother were hooked on 'Crushcrushcrush' and 'Misery Business' and i was so annoyed. i thought the songs made no sense and that the band was plain annoying. i guess i just didnt liked their style then. haha. and who knew, few years down the road after listening to 'Decode', the soundtrack of Twlight, i actually found Paramore to be a pretty cool band and when my sister announced to me that they're having their first ever concert held in Singapore, i was in for it and that was only when i started listening to Riot! and Brand New Eyes, just so they dont lose me in their concert. AND THAT WAS LESS THAN A YEAR AGO. Paramore has captured my heart like no other. im excited to see who the new members of Paramore will be.

11th; Friends-gathering at Chris's place
steamboat. Blackjack. Ben & Jerry's Strawberry Cheesecake ice-cream(which he specially bought for me cos i was craving for it). more gambling. by the last 15 minutes to 2AM, the 2 bankers(Chris and his brother) won about 1.2K while the 5 of us lost. i only lost about 50 bucks cos i played really small amounts. lol. scary hur.

12th;
Chris's relatives came over for lunch. both of us then went to Highland Close for CNY-visiting. i dont exactly know how to describe whose place we were visiting. lol. Chris's interpretation to me was 'one of the big bosses', who has 3 'crabs'. is it a Colonel? i cant remember. i have like a really really bad memory. ask me what my boyfriend was studying at Uni-SIM previously and im still gonna say i dont know cos i cant remember. lol.

we headed to my place which was nearby to drop off some stuff before going to Plaza Singapura. i got the Grade 2 ABRSM Music Theory Exam Paper for 2010 from Yamaha and a display stand for my pair of Sai from Caesar. and my watch is still screwed up after getting a new battery, how annoying. i wonder what exactly on earth is wrong with it. it works and then it doesnt and then it works and stops again. argh.

we went to Raffles City to get Macarons from Canele(i've been craving so goddamn badly for some) and guess what. they were pretty much sold out and left with like 4 flavors, none of them are what i wanted. i am very loyal when it comes to food. i will only eat Macarons from Canele. GIVE ME MY MACARONS!! :(

last destination of the day was Chris's friend, Terence, and his wife's place to celebrate Roy's birthday where we had steamboat again. actually the Teppanyaki part was pretty good. somehow everything tasted good with butter. how come the food didnt taste as good during our Reunion Teppanyaki dinner at home? hmmm.

i was watching ManUtd vs ManCity and Arsenal vs Wolves at their place. yes, i saw Rooney's Bicycle Kick Goal. i cant believe i actually got to witness that live on TV. no one else there actually saw him did that except me so they had to watch the replays. awesomeness. and Juccus said something like 'stop thinking about sex and do your thing' after he watched a replay of Rooney's goal. haha.

we played Blackjack again all the way till like 4AM. the stakes werent that big this time.

i swear all the late nights are taking its toll on me. even on days when im not out, i cant afford to sleep early cos i'll wake up after a few hours and have difficulty going back to sleep. i can only sleep when im truly tired and most of the time, it only happens after 3AM. im a fussy sleeper. i need good, hard, pillows, mattresses and bolsters and every part of my body has to be at the right angles before im able to sleep. and having insomnia doesnt help. i hardly get any good sleep at all. its frustrating.

we stayed in yesterday. Chris spent his day reading and i spent mine watching the telly. reminds me, i have 2 or 3 books that i've yet to read or finish reading. its probably my call to start reading again.

Scarlet wanting to squeeze in. i dont have enough laps to go around. hehe.

2011-02-11T17:42:00.001+08:00

woke up to my hair being side-parted today.

2011-02-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

i am so madly in love with this photo i took this afternoon. its my new Facebook profile picture. its like Rocker-Chick-Meets-Classical kinda thing. i love it.

my teacher is unwell so our lesson tonight is canceled. i practiced twice today. normally i do it only once a day so as to not over-tire my neck but i realized that i made some mistakes in reading the notes so i wanted to make sure i get used to the correct ones.

this is the first 2 lines of a Grade 2 exam A2 piece that my teacher got me started on 2 weeks ago. im supposed to play it at a much faster speed during the exam. well, speed has to come with quality so im working on the quality first. i need to improve on my bowing as well as to relax my right wrist.

i not only wanna pass. i want a distinction. I WANT IT SO BAD. more than anything else in the world.

2011-02-10T03:02:00.001+08:00

bring me there in my dreams tonight.
i wanna lay under the stars with you all night ♥

2011-02-09T16:38:00.001+08:00

my teacher gave me 2 pages of homework on Melodic and Harmonic Intervals and told me to do the next 2 pages of Revision if only i have the time to and so i did everything just now.

Intervals have to be the easiest, at least the Intervals that im learning now. i was trying to identity them without counting. i am basically, severely, mentally disabled at Math or anything to do with numbers. even the simplest equations, i need more time to think it through and get my answer. it does get in the way of me learning music theory but its not that bad. theres more memorizing than anything else.

speaking of which, i will be taking my ABRSM(Associated Board of the Royal Schools of Music) Grade 2 exams in September. the exam fee is $180. acceptable except the fact that if you fail and have to retake, thats double the amount. my teacher told me most of the fee goes to flying the invigilator from England. sounds pretty intense.

i am lucky to have a teacher who plays the piano as well or else i would have to pay and get a pianist to play an opening piece for me during the exam. and im also very lucky that my teacher covers everything included in the exams like Sight-Reading and Aural Test or else i would also have to pay a teacher to teach me those.

so basically, whats tested in the exams are Scales and Arpeggios, 3 pieces of music, Sight-Reading, Aural and Theory. whats scary is the unknown, like given a piece of music on the spot and playing it after given 30 seconds to look at it.

okay, i dont wanna think about it now. freaking me out. one step at a time. its a lot of work and practice but,

Grade 2, you are mine!

2011-02-09T01:12:00.003+08:00

TO MY BOYFRIEND

everyone is different in their own way. we cant help but compare sometimes. im still trying to figure out your way, and to embrace it.

change. i dont like it one bit. when we first got together, i dreaded the end of the 'honeymoon period' because i believe everything changes after that. i dont have a single bit of trust left to place in anyone or anything. i really believe nothing ever stays the same. all thats good, will turn bad. and slowly, that period was indeed over. i miss how we used to be. but i know that a relationship is more than that.

maybe i am not used to your way yet. maybe i am too used to getting everything i want. too used to being spoilt. too used to being someone's top priority. or maybe i have too much time to kill and my mind is making itself useful by being silly.

i've been dropping you messages. hoping you'll get why i dropped them. i dont ask for much. all i want is for us to always be the same. certain things have changed. minor things. and its hurting me sometimes.

i dont want you to do things just because i want them and thats why i havent spoken a word about it. i want you to know why i want them. i want you to get it. to feel it. and then do it of your own accord. not to please me. not to make sure im not upset. but because you feel the same and want the same.

i love waking up to morning messages from the one i love. its not being a control freak. it makes me happy that my boyfriend is thinking of me in his first minutes of the day. it makes me smile when i wake up to it.

remember how we used to look into each others' eyes in silence before we sleep and after we wake up? we dont do that anymore. most of the time, i wake up to an empty space beside me. you dont kiss and hug me anymore when you wake up but instead, pick up your laptop and head outside the room to play your games.

we dont see each other everyday. and when we do, i dont think thats the best way to spend it. every time you say that you miss me, i doubt it. cos when you miss someone, you'll want nothing more than to spend the time wisely with that someone when you're given the time to but thats not what youre doing.

i dont like to be taken for granted. im not a girl who will keep quiet and let my boyfriend play his games for hours while im with him.

if i cant be your special one, i'd rather not be at all.

im cool. im tough. i can take care of myself. but i am someone with feelings too.

i hate crying in front of you cos it makes me feel stupid, silly and an irritant. and if i were to say all the above to you face to face, that is what will happen.

im afraid. what if at the end of the day my best friend is right. that you might not be the one im looking for.

i love you. please dont take me for granted. i know i am not perfect myself. let me feel once again that we are one and not two separate individuals. all i want is for us to be the same. always the same as how we started. that nothing can come between us except each other.

2011-02-08T00:15:00.001+08:00

"i'm here. i love you. i dont care if you need to stay up crying all night long, i will stay with you. theres nothing you can ever do to lose my love. i will protect you until you die, and after your death i will still protect you. i am stronger than depression and i am braver than loneliness and nothing will ever exhaust me."

if anyone ever says that to me, i'll seriously cry.

good night, everybody :)

2011-02-07T05:48:00.000+08:00

CHINESE NEW YEAR 2011
a long post

2nd; Scarlet's 3rd birthday and Reunion Dinner

Fiona and I baked Scarlet a Peanut Butter Delight Birthday Cake with this recipe i found online.

we thought the carrot looks like a limp and old, you-know, that cant get up anymore

i was gonna order a cake from US Doggie Bakery like i did the past 2 years but they barely have any new designs so i thought, why not bake one myself. plus, the size of this Peanut Butter Delight cake is just the right size for Scarlet since we(the humans) are not gonna eat it. i dont think any human in the right mind would eat a cake with those ingredients. lol.

1 cup white or whole wheat flour we used Plain Flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/4 peanut butter we used Chunky Peanut Butter
1/4 vegetable oil we used Extra Virgin Olive Oil
1 cup shredded carrots
1 tsp Vanilla
1/3 honey
1 egg

Preheat the oven to 180 degrees Celsius. Mix the flour and baking soda in a bowl. Sis chose to sift the flour, which was not stated in the recipe. Add remaining ingredients and mix well. We used an electric mixer meant for baking. Pour mixture into a ring mold sprayed with a non-stick spray and put it into the oven for 40 minutes. We coated the cake mold with Olive Oil instead of using the spray. Sis emphasized that the excess oil has to be removed after the mold has been coated. the cake took less than 40 minutes to be baked in the oven for us so be sure to check it time to time when its in the oven.

Frost this cake with low-fat Cottage Cheese and decorate with carrot pieces. Store in refrigerator. we frosted the cake with cheese wedges, which was bought last minute and we did not decorate the cake with carrot pieces.

so after the baking of the cake, i had lots to do for spring-cleaning despite moving into a new place just less than 2 months ago. these were what i did. you can skip this whole part cos its really random.

pack my unwanted clothes into a bag for donation
washed up the dishes and tools used for baking Scarlet's cake

steam-ironed my comforter and Fiona's bed so they'll look nice and neat when relatives and friends visit the following days(its not as easy as the salesgirls always make it look)
cleaned my Chandelier which was literally sparkling after that
wiped the top of our bookcase which was covered with dust
wiped my floor with a cloth(its more thorough than using a mop.)

i love the Spring Blossom smell of the floor detergent we use.

feather-dusted the coffee table-turned-computer table in my room

my handy duster

wiped the table surface with water
wiped the glass surface of the table again with a Glass Cleaner
wiped my floor again thanks to the dust and dirt from cleaning the table
wiped the glass surfaces of the wardrobe doors with Glass Cleaner
wiped the glass surfaces of the bedroom door with Glass Cleaner
wiped the mirror with Glass Cleaner(all mainly to remove fingerprint marks)
wiped both the inside and outside surface of the windows and also the grills with Glass Cleaners(to remove the water stains left by the crazy rainy days)
wiped parts of the red wall which had these Grey smoky marks left by fingerprints

i didnt intend to do so much but whats the point of doing half of it and yet the other half of it is gonna make the first half go down the drain, right? everythings gotta look good man.

and then right before Reunion Dinner, i prepared Sensational Salmon Cakes for Scarlet's dinner since its her special day. recipe by Rachael Ray here.

i used half the ingredients stated as only Scarlet is eating them.

and yes, Scarlet loved them!

we are all starving by the time Reunion Dinner started. we had Teppanyaki and Miso Soup at home.

and after that was time to sing Scarlet her birthday song and cut her cake.

just a slice for her and the rest for another day

3rd; The relatives come to visit

taken with Fiona's DSLR

taken with my iPhone

cousins and uncle about to dig into Mommy's cooking

when the other relatives started pouring in, Speed was suggesting a game of basketball so all 8 of us including Scarlet went to the nearby court only to find that a huge tent was set up over it and it was impossible to play so we went back for a game of Disney Monopoly in Speed's room. i had no idea how many people were in our house that night buy im guessing 20?

the 3 hunky cousins(siblings). left to right: Brandon, whos the same age as me, Brian, whos 2 years older than Speed and Justine, whos same age as my sister.they are also our closest cousins. we all grew up playing together and sort of got busy with school, etc, so we dont see each other as often anymore.

thats our youngest cousin playing Fruit Ninja on Brandon's iPad.

a funny moment during Monopoly when both Brandon and Justine make offers to buy Brian's property.

this is us ONE YEAR AGO

and us ONE YEAR LATER this CNY

and me with practically no makeup. i look bad-ass last year and like girl-next-door this year but trust me, im still the same person. pretty bad-ass ;)

we played Monopoly Deal after the board game and the cousins left before midnight.

4th; Visiting the Grandparents
as long as my mother's ex-husband is not around, im fine with visiting them.

i bought that top from HerVelvetVase.com cos it looked nice on their model. when i received it, i knew right away that it wasnt me so i didnt wear it up till now since i didnt get any new clothes for CNY. and those shoes are from Aldo, which i bought some time ago and havent worn them till now.

we had steamboat for lunch at grandparents' place. Grandpa was very happy to see us especially my brother. we havent seen them since October last year when we moved out of our new place to our temporary place.

they were playing Mahjong after lunch, Scarlet was hanging around and i was watching Armageddon on Channel 5. i've watched it so many times but i still enjoy the movie. i love it. Liv Tyler is so pretty and Ben Affleck is cute(in that film).

we headed home when Armageddon was about to end. Chris came after midnight and we played Dota with Speed on Garena before going to bed.

5th; Our friends come to visit
Fiona's girlfriends came first followed by Roy and John and then Sis's guy friends and the rest of my friends came one after another. we had like 20 over people in our house. everyone praised Mom's cooking, especially the Thai Green Curry, Tom Yum Soup and this Fried Bean Curd Skin wrapped around Minced Pork & Prawn which had the most praises.

thanks to Mommy for cooking so much good stuff for our friends!!

played Blackjack with Chris, Kyle, Juccus, Jucuss's brother, Elyse, John, Roy, Jun and June. Baby was the banker. John left for Dbl O(lol). Shawn and Vincent came to join us. Roy and Shawn left at like 2 or 3 AM. Baby lost a few hundreds before Kyle took over as the banker and lost as well. i was winning some money but started losing but started winning again when Vincent came and starting "cutting" the deck of cards. Baby, Kyle, Juccus, Juccus's brother, Elyse, June and I gambled all the way till 7AM in the morning.

most of Fiona's friends who were also playing cards and Mahjong left only after 6AM to 7AM. lol. i was so freaking tired so i stopped at like 5 or 6AM when they changed the game and had to ask Baby to wash the dishes that our friends used cos i was too tired to do so and was washing up and getting ready for bed. the moment i removed my contact lenses, my eyes could barely open and they started tearing so bad. i just went straight to bed and died. lol. Baby, thanks for your help that day :)

6th; Fiona's cheerleading teammates come to visit
woke up at like 3PM to find Baby playing Blackjack with Sis's teammates. lol. he was the banker again. i played for a while and won some money before it was our turn to have steamboat for late lunch with Mommy, Sis and Bro.

Scarlet sitting on Chris's lap after lunch

Baby and I went back to bed and slept all the way till like 10PM after Fiona's teammates left and when Clarke was over for a bit to visit and pick Sis up. Chris and I watched Blood, The Last Vampire before he went home. its a lousy film, by the way.

i feel like the time we spend together is always not enough since now we're only meeting up on weekends, staying over at either his or my place :(

hes uber busy with work and Dota after work on weekdays and im uber lazy since i moved to the new place. laziness is why i havent been going out as much.

i have not watched Shaolin. i wanna get Macarons too. been craving for them since few days back.

anyway, my CNY has been great. i like having people at our place, making lots of noise. haha. literally warming up our house for us.

its back to reality for everyone. back to work for most, and back to practicing my strings for me. i have not done so in a week, i think. i deserve to be shot over and over again.

i have quite a few items bought online that are due to arrive. my super belated Christmas presents from Baby from Victoria's Secret and Paramore online store. 2 backorder-ed dresses from HerVelvetVase.com and 1 dress bought few days ago from Victoria's Secret.

my temper has been damn bad the past week thanks to PMS. i've been cursing and swearing like noone's business. losing my temper at every single thing. i cant help it, i really cant. PMS is not an excuse. its true, it makes me a bitch. lol. i pity those around me. thanks for tolerating my nonsense. hehe. im driving myself crazy inside too. i get all these crazy thoughts. omg. thank god i hung in there and didnt do or say anything stupid with my raging hormones. hehe.

omg. its almost 6. i need to go to bed.

2011-02-02T04:02:00.001+08:00

this dress is so beautiful. something i'll wear for my day at ROM.

D&G Spring Ready-To-Wear 2011

got home from Rivervale Mall like 2 hours ago from midnight grocery shopping with Mommy and the siblings.

lol at the photo above. Sis made me wait for her in a toilet that stank like it hasnt been cleaned in a month. well, at least she promised to help me with Scarlet's cake in the afternoon later.

holding hands and walking back to our room to help Sis change her bedsheets.

its Scarlet's 3rd birthday!!! i love her like nuts. till death do us part, baby girl!

2 of the most important and loved in my life

things to do after i wake up later.

bake Scarlet's cake
clean the chandelier
mop the floor so its clean and smells nice
clear all my stuff that are lying around here and there
cook Scarlet her birthday dinner

on a side note, Justin Timberlake drives me crazy especially in this music video of Carry Out. thats how you spell sexayeeee.

2011-02-01T03:04:00.001+08:00

something to share.

i've been wanting to donates clothes that are in a good condition that i dont wear anymore and the first organization that came to my mind was of course, The Salvation Army. but they put donated clothes at their thrift stores for re-sale right?

i want to give my clothes to people who really need them so i Google-d and found this small organization that has drop-off bins outside of Scape and i think its perfect.

i wished i did this way ahead of CNY but i didnt so i'll have to do it after CNY.

http://blessingsinabag.org/wishlist/

2011-01-31T21:20:00.001+08:00

2 days to Scarlet's birthday. i hope shes ready to pig out on the food im preparing for her!

brushing that last few sections of fur after bathing and drying her

maybe i should do a post on how to bathe and dry your dogs hur. haha. i can even include ear-cleaning, plucking of ear-hair and nail-clipping and since Scarlet's nails are black, which can be tricky for dog owners whose dogs have black nails. and maybe even basic grooming. haha. well, if there are requests for it, i may just do so.

i am starving. Mom is coming back with my dinner.

so i spent my weekend at Chris's place. i wanted to catch Shaolin so i tried booking tickets online for Golden Village at Jurong Point but fuck, it left me so frustrated on Friday. it seems like GV only accepts Visa. and when i tried to book tickets using Chris's UOB card, it led me to this page where he has to obtain a one-time password and the application has to be mailed. like wtf, seriously. so we ended up not watching since the theater seats were already filled up but instead, stayed in and watched Daybreakers on DVD, Meet The Parents on Saturday night after going to Jurong Point for dinner at Soup Restaurant(one of my favorites) and to get a new box of contact lenses. i was wearing my glasses when i went over to his place and i forgot to pack my lenses' case which had them in it with me, how silly.

we went to Twister at Jurong Point on Sunday afternoon to get our hair trimmed after lunch at Long John Silver(which i figured only the Grilled Seafood Feast and Grilled Cajun Chicken are really worth eating). this time i played smart and we asked for his hairstylist, Steven, the one who mixed my previous hair color and trimmed my hair at the same session. the last time i went to that salon, this hairstylist cut my bangs so short that i wanted to shoot myself. i wasnt disappointed this time, i got my bangs trimmed just right, my hair trimmed and layered as well. i dont know why but my hair felt so good to the touch after the haircut. it was probably the blow-drying to smooth out my hair before the cut and the Kerastase product he applied to my hair after everything.

went to Ion, Wisma Atria and Ngee Ann City in the late afternoon to do shopping for CNY-clothes. i didnt buy anything for myself cos i didnt see anything i like and besides, i have new clothes that i've not worn yet. i got 2 sets of clothes for bro and im pretty sure he likes them. hehe. had dinner at Din Tai Fung and i finished all the Sour & Spicy Soup by myself. damn, i love that soup!

plans for CNY are up!
Wednesday - celebration of Scarlet's 3rd birthday and reunion dinner at home
Thursday - housewarming/house-visiting for relatives(i really dont know how Scarlet's gonna deal with all the kids, i hope she doesnt eat any of them up)
Friday - going to Grandparents' place(that person will not be around). Scarlet's coming along too
Saturday - housewarming/house-visiting for me and Sis's friends

im super hungry!!!

2011-01-28T14:48:00.000+08:00

they make my day anytime. Paramore ♥

2011-01-27T19:04:00.000+08:00

taken by Sis with her DSLR

i know her fur's in a mess, im giving her her weekly bath tomorrow.

so, i was walking her in the afternoon when this woman pushing a stroller just came to me and went 'hello, do you know you have to clean up after your dog's poo'. right away i was thinking, wtf? so i replied her sarcastically 'but she didnt??'. she was kind of taken aback by my response so she was like, 'okay' and went off. Scarlet did not even poop before she came up to me. unless she has been watching me from godknowswhere for some time, shes just out of her mind. besides, Scarlet doesnt poop on pavements. she poops on freaking grass. why the fuck do you care if she poops on grass?! unless you sleep on them, which you dont! and besides, they act as fertilizers, you have to thank my dog for contributing to healthier, lush, green grass. honestly speaking, i dont know if anyone else would have been pissed by her if they were me, but dont ever tell me what to do even if i am wrong, which i strongly believe i wasnt. i hate it when people tell me what to do unless its my job, especially if you dont know me. this woman is downright ridiculous. just because i am in sports wear, wearing spectacles and a hair band holding my bangs up, doesnt mean i am as gullible as i may appear to be. she wasnt even polite or nice, for your info. she was hostile.

anyway, Scarlet shat after that and i didnt clean it up, i left it on the grass. since she doesnt know me, i guess she wont know that im a rebel at heart and i am as stubborn as hell. read that, hell. unless you wanna know what hell feels like, dont ever approach me again because this time, i will screw you up and i will let you face fear cos i will not stop my dog from attacking you. trust me, my dog hates strangers who comes close, even if you are complimenting her. she has been trained by my brother to be hostile and she is super protective of me. both she and i share a few things in common, we dislike kids, we cant stand kids, we are super nice and manja to the people we love, but we are cautious and can be mean to strangers. so for the safety of your kid whos in the stroller as well, dont.ever.come.near.me.again. Scarlet hates kids to the guts. if you are wondering why is this dog this way, well, i'll say you dont know who the owner is ;) and i am super protective of her as well, no fucking one bullies her. i will tear your face apart.

p.s. if you think the reason for that woman approaching me might be cos Scarlet's poop is stinking up the place, let me just tell you that im staying on the ground floor and i dont smell a shit, not even those of other dogs', nothing. so theres no reason for her to fucking open her mouth and lecture me. if you think it might be cos people might walk on the grass and step on it, let me also tell you that the pavements around that area are huge and unlimited. no one will walk on the bloody piece of grass cos they have more than enough space to walk on the pavement, and everyone knows there are dogs in the area, anyone with common sense would not walk on the grass in case theres a land mine in the form of dog's poop.

2011-01-27T01:32:00.000+08:00

thats a happy Scarlet and her new toy. look at her smiling so widely. hehe.

so, i have "graduated" from Physio. i am still deciding if i should go and get my grooming certificate. i've been considering other factors as well, especially my neck problem. i was gonna go to Taiwan to take a 3-month course this year but i've been reluctant since some time ago because i know i will be very home sick. i am independent, but i get home sick very quickly. my boyfriend cant go there with me due to work commitments as well. so, i dont think i will be going overseas for that. even if i were to do it locally, after attaining the certificate, i have to practice as much as i can or else whatever i picked up will go down the drain. which mean, i have to work full-time as a groomer. 6 days a week, at least 8 hours a day. i really doubt my neck can withstand the physical demands of it.

and recently after started watching We TV's Amazing Wedding Cakes, i have been hooked to the show. there was this particular cake from the episode that i watched today that really got me interested in actually learning how to bake and decorate cakes professionally. i dont like working for others because i feel like its stagnant, and after all the work you put into your job, the profits dont go into your pocket. i wanna be in charge, i wanna draw all my profits, i wanna be able to work in an environment without the pressure of always worrying if my employers are happy or unhappy with me. and i was thinking if i really go for these professional cake baking and decorating certificates, i can start small from home and online, work open hours. the professional courses dont come that cheap either. maybe slightly lesser than grooming, about 3-4K(not including the equipments and tools)

i wanna make up and set up my mind on this issue. like my astrology sign says, a Capricorn's greatest strength is the ability to set goals and pursue them until attained. nothing gets in the way of a Capricorn's plans and ambitions. just like my goal to master my violin, i wanna find that one special thing in me as a career and go all the way for it.

i'll just wait out a few weeks, get opinions from loved ones and see how things(in my head and neck) go. if there is anyone out there whos interested in baking and decorating cakes as a career, have that creativity and crave that sense of satisfaction after your piece of art in a form of cake is accomplished, feel free to join me. cos if i do go for it, i wont stop. and im pretty sure i'll need an extra pair of hand when i really do start out small. who knows, maybe even partnership. but i have to really let you know what i've seen on the show, cakes have to be painstakingly put together. that means going the extra mile and hours to make it perfect. everything on the cake is edible, thats the most fascinating part of it. the flowers and details. all made by hand! it will not be easy, but its really about learning from experiences.

taken from ChristopherGarrens.com, one of my favorite company due to the amazing cake-executions seen on the show.

everything on the cake is edible, i have to repeat! they are all made by hand! how amazing is that!

i did some research online about the courses. well, if anyones interested just drop me a message here or text me if youre a friend, i'll share the websites with you.

2011-01-26T03:30:00.000+08:00

due to Singtel screwing up our broadband the other time, they have waived a month's charges and gave us 20 channels free of charge until the end of our contract. sounds good hur. i've been hooked on this channel, We TV, which broadcast mostly reality shows. its basically a channel that im able to sit through the entire day. they have quite a number of reality shows about wedding preparations, finding that perfect gown, bridezillas, amazing wedding cakes, etc. trust me, it so makes you wanna get hitched. its crazy. Mio TV channel 24, perfect for a reality-shows-whore like me. and recently, theres this 'Underdog to Wonderdog', where they rescue dogs that are in a bad condition. its really heartwarming.

speaking of weddings, 'Girl Meets Gown' is one of me and Sis's favorite show. and she was saying that she doesnt have a dream wedding dress. but i do. and its a Toga. i think its downright sexy.

i have good news. i have graduated from Physiotherapy! woohoo! no more going back to TTSH every other week. my Therapist has put me under "Open Date' though and its valid for a year, which means i can call and make an appointment anytime if the problems comes back. so i'll just wait out a few weeks to see if the problem comes back.

Scarlet's birthday in in a week! shes turning 3. i have to order a cake and search up dog-friendly recipes like now to cook up a feast for her next week! her birthday lies on CNY's eve, which means she wont be left out for Reunion Dinner.

anyway, i really went insane from that practice in the video. i was cursing and swearing and screaming and letting off steam cos i was so frustrating but of course thats all not in the video. maybe just me whispering 'son of a bitch'. haha.

okay, its getting late and my body is shutting down so its a wrap.

2011-01-24T20:13:00.000+08:00

so i was playing Sims 3 in the afternoon and because the Sims have astrology signs too, i decided to Google traits of mine and Chris's and it came up pretty interesting. i'll highlight the ones that are (almost 100%)true in my opinion in Red. and those not highlighted, well, im either not sure of it or i'd rather not say or they're not true! i had a good laugh reading them so search up traits of your astrology signs here

A SAGITTARIUS MAN
Personality Traits and Characteristics

The Sagittarius man is adventurous, fun loving, sociable and friendly, determined to live life to the fullest. He is very likely to be physical and athletic. A natural scholar, he loves both to learn and to teach, making conversations stimulating. He focuses primarily on the big picture, and not so much on details, making him highly philosophical, and interested in figuring out the meaning of life.

Typically he will be well educated, or planning to be, and prefers to focus on and master one subject, rather than dabbling in lots of different ones. Ambitious, optimistic and enthusiastic, he sets himself lofty goals in life, though sometimes struggles to attain them, especially when unforeseen details bury him.

Inspiring and spontaneous he can sometimes be seen as too aggressive or impatient. He values independence and freedom, manifested both in a liberal open mindedness and a dislike of feeling trapped or obligated. Imaginative and intuitive he may often be seen as lucky, and may have a fondness for gambling due to this.

This is an honest guy, a straight shooter who speaks his mind. Not a good person to ask if that dress makes you look fat.. As with other intelligent signs he can be seen as lazy and undisciplined. Lacking a deep understanding of emotions he can also be seen as too blunt or shallow by more emotionally intense signs (and as a breath of fresh air to less emotional ones!)

As A Lover

He is likely to be very attractive and sexy due to his zest for life, and desire to explore and learn all about it. He is always up for a debate, and his enthusiastic optimism makes any subject fun. Physical and athletic he probably exercises regularly, and looks good as a result. Really the best of both worlds in one package!

Sexuality

Being highly physical he is likely to associate love with sex, or at least more so than most people do. Bold and passionate, he is also likely to be very open and direct sexually.

Long Term and Commitment

This isn’t a sign prone to cheating; however the Sagittarius man will value his freedom, and hate the idea of being trapped. This may come across as highly suspicious to some, and it’s the worst thing which can happen, as freedom is fundamental to Sagittarius. This is an important area to acknowledge, as he may be unwilling to commit unless reassured he can still have his space.

A CAPRICORN WOMAN(ME!)

Personality Traits and Characteristics

The Capricorn woman is as romantic and emotional as anyone else, but can be somewhat inhibited in expressing her emotions, typically preferring to perform practical tasks to help loved ones in preference to making purely romantic gestures. If she seems more interested in being your personal assistant than getting you into bed, this is often just her way of showing she cares!

She will be exceptionally cautious of making a commitment until she knows that your traits and lifestyle are compatible with hers. She is very cautious by nature, and not one to rush into anything, so again don't be misled if her interest appears mainly platonic initially.

Down to earth, practical, ambitious, driven, patient, self disciplined and responsible. A Capricorns greatest strength is the ability to set goals and pursue them until attained. Nothing gets in the way of a Capricorns plans and ambitions, and they don’t like taking shortcuts or cheating – as either devalues their later satisfaction. They value steady progress over short bursts of activity, and are exceedingly patient. Bad news affects them less than other signs, and rarely holds them back for long.

They have an almost intrinsic need to climb proverbial mountains and challenge themselves. Pessimistic by nature they sometimes have inferiority complexes and a fear of failure, which drives them so hard to both succeed, and stand on their own two feet doing so. Respect, recognition and praise are important to them, as is their public image.

Work is very important to Capricorns and they do not take it lightly, holding fast to duty and responsibility, partly because they want to look good in front of the world, and partly for the security such behavior brings. They place a very high value on material security, which can lead to efficiency, thrift and being somewhat of a packrat.

Capricorns like to plan their every move, weighing all the pros and cons of any issue in advance, and often rehearsing exactly what they want to say before they say it. They are dependable, particularly in a crisis, though they dislike chaos and unpredictability. When asked, they give sound, practical advice. As a rule they’re not aggressive people, and only express hostility as a defense.

Question: Are Capricorn Women Afraid To Express Their Feelings?

Afraid is the wrong word for it, though this is a valid question, as they often come across this way. Capricorn women typically enjoy people, though they are often thoughtful, self-contained and shy. Their quiet exterior can make them appear to be loners, often building a wall of reserve around themselves. They are very loyal to those they care for, but often cold to those outside of their circle of friends and family. They are often highly cautious and analytical when making new friends.

On the negative side Capricorns can be pessimistic, suspicious, stubborn and intolerant.

Once married the Capricorn woman is exceptionally loyal and will seldom divorce, because she feels that any situation can be worked out, and will certainly be willing to put in the effort to do so, if her partner is.

Sexuality

Your Capricorn woman is likely to be a very adventurous lover, which may come as a surprise when compared to her otherwise restrained and stand-offish exterior. Contrary to her cool demeanor she is remarkably playful in bed, and will prefer ‘fun’ sex to the heavy or serious. She will also enjoy laughing in bed, and appreciate a sense of humor. Don’t be surprised if she mentions making love at either your place of work or hers, it seems to be a common fantasy with Capricorns!

Ideal Partner

Security is very important to this woman, and for this reason she may prefer an older and more established lover, or at least a mentally mature one. She admires those who are hard-working or have ambition, and has very little tolerance for lazy people, and overall enjoys the company of optimists over pessimists.

2011-01-21T21:12:00.001+08:00

lol. i know i ought to dismantle the Christmas tree by now. i'll do it on Sunday or next week. with Chinese New Year approaching, i cant run away from it.

i'm waiting for Mom to come back with our dinner and Chris to come over from his place. looks like i'll have some time to practice my strings first. my teacher says we're gonna start preparing for Grade 2 exams, feels kinda scary. lol.

i've been sticking to my beauty regime every day and i dont know if its just me but i do see a better complexion. well, being disciplined cant go wrong. just look at my Mom's skin. i think her skin is better than mine. she has stuck to her regime for years. i wanna look 10 years(or slightly more) younger than my age when i reach 50.

thats my Mom on the left. i think shes like 49 or 50 this year. looks nothing close to that!

i was at the dental clinic earlier and while seated and waiting for my turn, theres this boy(in primary school uniform) and his father beside me. i was so envious of the boy. i wonder how it feels like to have a father, how it feels like to be a daddy's little girl. even the littlest gestures i see from fathers(of people around me), i can see the love they have for their children. most of their children might be too used to it to feel/appreciate it as it has become a second nature to them, but i am really envious. even Chris, whose father who would rush from the extreme West to the extreme North-East in the morning just to pass him something he needed urgently for work. i dont exactly know how it feels like cos i've never had the experience, but it must feel very nice.

cherish what you have.
:)

2011-01-20T16:30:00.000+08:00

on days like this when i miss my boyfriend, i watch the random videos i took with my phone.

i have yet to do my theory homework when my teacher is coming over to my place later for our lesson. speaking of that, im at a frustrating stage of learning because it is so damn difficult to get my fingers and wrist postures right. i am so frustrated that im close to tears sometimes! theres nothing i can do except to wait till my fingers get used to the positions as time goes by. drives me insane! i have never done anything so difficult in my entire life. even studying is nothing close to this. argh. every lesson recently is so strenuous on my left fingers. when will i get a breakthrough??

a bracket of my braces fell off yesterday while i was eating. i have to go back to the clinic tomorrow afternoon to get a new one fixed. how troublesome! but im thankful enough that the exposed wire is not really poking the side of my mouth though its uncomfortable when im eating and theres just a minimal amount of abrasion.

i feel like theres a lack of something. i think its having a good time with friends. so meeting best friends this weekend.

2011-01-18T16:50:00.001+08:00

so, i went for the job try-out this morning at a veterinary clinic. i left during lunch cos i wasnt feeling very well. i started feeling weak since last night. giddy spells as well. maybe im falling sick. its been some time since i last fell sick so i wouldnt be surprised if i do.

what i did on the trial was cleaning up a dead cat to make it look more presentable when the owners come to collect it. i have never touched a dead animal before so now i have. its body was all stiff, like Medusa turned it into stone. and its body is cold.

i got scratched by a cat while helping to restrain it and i accidentally hurt myself with a needle when i was forcing the cap off and it left my pinky and ring finger bleeding. ouch.

anyway, it was a good eye-opener. something i've never done before. plenty of stuff to learn but im not sure if my interest lies there. i think grooming interests me more. i dont think i'll be working at the clinic but it was a good experience.

tomorrow marks our 5th month :)
i have to say that i dont think im a good girlfriend, i really dont think i am or ever was. on the other hand, i dont think i've ever met a guy like my boyfriend. even though he thinks hes not at fault, he apologized to me first when i was angry and upset last week. it was only a few days later that he told me how what he actually felt about that matter. i asked him why did he apologize when he didnt think he was at fault and he said it was because he loves me. and just 2 days ago, he made me angry and this time it was his fault. but somehow, i couldnt stay angry with him. i think its the patience he has in me to talk to me nicely, to appease my anger. in my past relationships, every thing would end up in a fight. i can get pretty unreasonable when im angry and it gets even worse when im argued with, i dont let it rest. i really hand it to my boyfriend for his patience and i hope that he will always remain this way whenever im angry or upset because it really works on me. haha, i just gave myself away there :p

as you can see, Miss Stinky-Butt(the furball boyfriend-snatcher) is very attached to Chris too. she is always around him whenever he comes over. she has been making herself a pretty useful light bulb.

seeing him in his uniform gets me all excited.
*hyperventilates*

2011-01-17T19:37:00.001+08:00

Universal Studios & Hard Rock Hotel Singapore
in belated celebration of my birthday with the boyfriend.
thanks again, Baby. i had a fun, good and happy time!

15th;
we dropped off our luggage at Hard Rock in the morning before going to Universal Studios as the check-in time was only 3PM.

and back to Hard Rock to check-in at 250PM.

we were told that our room is not ready for us because they are fully-booked for the day and the housekeeping is really stretched and blah, blah. they said they'll call us when our room is ready(and will make up the time by adding it to the check-out time) so we hang around the lobby, got our complimentary welcome drink(which tasted like medicine). i was hungry so we ordered some Tuna Sandwiches which had a decent amount of Tuna in it.

at 4PM, i was really tired and feeling a bit unwell so Chris went to the front desk to ask if our room is ready. and it was.

in the lift

the view from our room window

we took a nap and freshened up for dinner at Chili's!

Chris and i got one photo frame each. hes gonna put his in his office after we get some photos printed :)

complimentary tickets to Valentino's exhibition. photography is not allowed.

if youre looking for a short getaway for the weekend, RWS is definitely the place!

went for my dental appointment earlier on and got drenched in the rain because Centrepoint's taxi stand doesnt have a proper shelter.

i have to be up early tomorrow cos im going for a one-day try-out for the job i applied for.
good luck to me!

2011-01-16T21:22:00.000+08:00

HELLLLOO!

i know! i have finally changed my blog skin after so long! i would have done that earlier but there just werent any that i liked. this one is a total new look compared to my old one. i love it. its so fresh. and as you can see, i have added a tag board but please dont abuse it because if you do, i'm gonna take it down. if you dont like me, well, just dont read my blog. right?

and a huge surprise. i have opened my blog archives. yes, all my past blog entries since 2005, all 1170 of them, i have enabled for viewing. i know its crazy. why would i wanna let anyone see them but you know, when you wanna get over certain things, you have to face them. not that i will read my old entries, i wont. but, i'm not gonna run away from it. so yeah. happy looking and reading them. remember, its all in the past. whats there, stays there :)

2011-01-14T17:40:00.000+08:00

i came across this job online and i just sent my resume to them. i'll only talk about it further if i get it. haha. i really hope to get this. keeping my fingers crossed. pray for me, people!

i woke up late today at like 1PM so no breakfast. this is what i had for lunch though

brown rice with steamed eggs

cabbage and fish balls soup

and these, my daily essentials.

i put some decals on my wall yesterday.

pretty hur.
and i finally moved my computer from the dining table to the coffee table in my room.

i need some new photo frames.

and lying there is the pig who doesnt like to make her own bed and leaves her shit everywhere in the room. hahaha.

im checking into Hard Rock after Universal Studios tomorrow. have you seen pictures of their hotel rooms? they are so Rocker. i already know im gonna love it. i am so stoked!!

2011-01-14T02:55:00.000+08:00

True, undying love.
Does it really exist?

Is there really a soulmate for each and every one of us?

A person who loves you more than his/herself.
Are we really capable of that?

One who will walk this life with you, through thick and thin.
Is it even possible?

I am still waiting for the Great Wall in me to be breached.
Will that day come?

Will I put down my guard and believe again?

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2011-01-13T15:01:00.000+08:00

CONFESSIONS II

i am feeling very vexed and frustrated cos i am bored out of my ass. i have nothing to do. nothing.

so im gonna share more on whats going on in my life. i am brutally honest about myself to myself. this post is like a conversation between myself and i. so, yeah.

i am developing anorexia, just slightly. and i cant help it.

i know im skinny. and it is because im skinny that the more i shouldnt get fat.

i used to not be able to get fat no matter how much i eat. anyone who has been reading my blog for all these years would know.

but now, i do. especially the tummy area. and because people dont see me naked or in a bikini, they think im crazy to say im fat.

but the truth is, i am fat. and i cant stand having obvious fats in me. i just cant. it is not acceptable. obvious fats means youre fat. period.

i used to hear strangers say: shes so skinny, shes too skinny and blah, blah, blah. well, fuck you. i'd rather have people say im skinny than say im fat. there is no in-between. it is either you're skinny or you're fat.

and recently, i've been cutting down on food-intake a lot.i dont even remember the last time i had rice. maybe like 2 or 3 weeks ago.

i eat cereals in milk on a daily basis, but not for every meal, of course. sometimes for breakfast, sometimes for lunch, sometimes as an afternoon snack, and once, for dinner. and i find it hard to eat outside food. when i look and think of them, i see them as fatty and unhealthy food. i no longer finish the whole portion even if i reluctantly eat some outside food. im not saying what i eat everyday is healthy but its what i can accept as healthy foods.

i cooked Pasta with Spinach, Mushrooms and Chicken the other day and i did not even add a pinch of salt other than that bit that i added to the pot of water with Angel's Hair cooking. the Pasta was pretty much tasteless but at least i know its healthy and it didnt taste that bad.

im getting quite obsessed and picky with my food. i used to love chocolates. i can eat them every single day, few times a day. but now, i cant. even my birthday chocolate cake, i eat only a small slice after dinner every day. i vowed to only eat chocolates and sweet stuff on special occasions like my birthday.

on my hungry days, i used to eat a lot, like a glutton. but now, i dont eat until i feel full. i stop when i feel im no longer hungry, or that i feel my stomach has enough foods in it.

i think the only thing missing in my health department now is working out. as you know, i can no longer swim cos it give me insane headaches due to my neck. i've been thinking of taking Muay Thai lessons and getting a Kinect so i can buy and use Your Shape; Fitness Evolved, to work out.

and besides, i think every girl should aim for a body like Candice Swanepoel's. she is skinny but she has the curves. she has a body to die for. and the only way to get a body like that is by working out regularly and keeping your diet in check.

her waist is mother-effing tiny. maybe 23" at most.

imma get a measuring tape and start working out.

am i really developing anorexia? i dont know. you tell me.

2011-01-12T15:02:00.000+08:00

still not in the best of moods but not to worry, i've got myself in control.

so, people have been casually asking me, whats my next step? well, thats the exact same question i've been asking myself. first comes the TW trip. am i still gonna go there to study? i dont have an answer for that yet. my neck is barely recovering despite doing Physiotherapy.

Mom and Kyle have been trying to convince me to try Acupuncture. i really really dread the feeling of needles going through my skin and into me. its not about the pain. its about that weird, uncomfortable feeling. eeww. i hate it to the guts. maybe i just need some time to gather my courage.

i like being left alone when im troubled or vexed or feeling upset cos it gives me the space i need to sort out and clear my thoughts.

there are so many things that i wanna do and learn. but first of all, i gotta have a career to support it all. i dont like to depend on others even if they are willing to be depended on. i dont trust anyone enough to do that.

we tend to get lost sometimes, we lose our direction in life. nothing ever goes smooth-sailing.

im still trying to find my path, a place for me.

some things cant be forced. maybe i just need a little more time than others.

sometimes, i feel like the only things that are worth my time are the things that will never upset or disappoint me. the things that will never change. my dog, my violin, my best friends.

you know whats the scariest thing about women? the scariest thing about a woman is when she knows what she wants. she wont stop for anyone and neither will she compromise. and i am one of them ;)

i always believe that,
you need to be happy before you can make someone else happy.
you need to find yourself before you can help someone else find their way.

it always begins with you. within yourself.
throughout your life, you are the only one you have to fight.
its one shitty life-long battle.
but each time you win, it sure as hell feels good.

gonna go do some stuff now.
be back soon.
xx

2011-01-11T23:29:00.000+08:00

**edited and updated

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

7th; NABINS

thanks to all 14 friends and boyfriend who came :)

Kyle, my best guy friend.

left to right: Chris, Roy, Liyi, Andrew & John

Vincent and my best friend of 9 years and counting, Jun

Liyi, Andrew & Eddy gave me this book as a present. i love it so much. its filled with high resolution photographs of dogs. so beautiful. thank you!

from Claudia(who i forgot to take a photo with before she left), my babe. thank you :)

and this pair of handy fold-able flats are from Hui Min(Chris's elder sister) and boyfriend. thank you! haha. she knows i wear heels a lot.

as y'all might know, i had a more "glamorous" birthday at a suite in Hotel Re! last year.
this year, i wanted a simple one with my friends. i wanted nothing more than my closest and good friends to be there for my special day. simple as that. even if they just drop by for a tiny while. some friends really made the effort to be there for me. but some, who mattered the most to me, didnt even bother. it really shows, so thanks for letting me know how silly i have been :) i will treasure and cherish those who really have me as a friend with their hearts.

8th; Love and Other Drugs
with Chris.
i love the movie and totally did not expect Anne Hathaway to be topless, or the movie to be full of hot sex.
♥♥♥♥♥

i love Anne Hathaway's character in the film. i love a girl who says 'fuck' without feeling bad about it. i love a girl with attitude.

please, please, catch this movie if you havent. i promise you it'll be worth your money and time :)

"were you molested by a carebear?!"
hahaha.

i wanted to upload photos from Sunday's birthday lunch too but Photobucket is not working so i'll probably be back to do that later.

UPDATES
Singtel has finally got our broadband working. its been almost a month since we moved here and we had no internet all the while, can you believe it? they messed up like thrice. the technician finally came today and its up so yeah, that puts an end to our frustrations so i'll let it go.

9th; Sushi Tei
with Chris, Speed, Mommy, Fiona & Clarke

not all food ordered are in photos. haha. we went for dessert at Ice3.

i'm no longer in the mood to blog. i dont mix well with ex-girlfriends and never will so they'd better STFU. i am nice but never to ex-girlfriends even if they really are nice people(which i will never know and care). dont start gossiping about me, saying im all immature cos i dont give a shit. dont y'all pretend to be okay with your other's ex-s cos i know you're not. okay?

yeah, im telling myself to chill. i am understanding and reasonable but when it comes to ex-s, no fucking way. the more i love my guy, the more their ex-s annoy me. so please stay away from me, cos i cant wait to dig my nails into your face.

and you, youre asking for it.

2011-01-06T21:24:00.001+08:00

A YEAR OLDER, A MIND WISER

i have started my birthday weekend by going shopping alone for gifts for myself. hehe.

new beauty regime! may i have better skin in 2011!

went healthy grocery-shopping and got ingredients for dinner as well. i whipped up Carbonara with Bacon, Mushrooms and Chicken Cocktail Sausages.

bought this magazine. it has to be one of my favorite magazines now.

my neck sores are back, i can no longer spend long hours in front of the computer playing Sims :(

im gonna start eating 5 small meals a day instead of 3 regular meals to prevent over-eating and bloating. and absolutely no junk food except on special occasions.

2011-01-06T00:45:00.000+08:00

I MISS PARTYING
maybe i should organize a night out soon.

i miss all my babes, Jun, Ally, Claudia, Michelle, Evan and Jennifer. hopefully i'll get to see all 6 of them this Friday :) i want that more than anything else. each and every one of them is a very special friend to me.

Scarlet in deep sleep

been having cramps since yesterday. i hope im physically well by Friday.
Victoria's Secret has launched their Swim 2011 collection. girls, check them out. im trying to turn my body clock to what it was cos what is it now is unhealthy. so im gonna keep this short. i wanna go to Body Shop today and get myself some birthday gifts. hehe.

have a great weekend!

2011-01-03T18:48:00.001+08:00

the first photos of 2011 shall be photos of my new room! some wall stickers and photo frames are not up yet but yeah.

my chandelier is still lack of 2 bulbs though its barely visible. Scarlet peed on my comforter last night due to excitement of seeing Fiona's friend who came by and it pissed me off so badly that i gave her a SERIOUS lecture thanks to PMS. shes such a sweetie, that furball.

went to catch Gulliver's Travels 3D with Mommy, Speed and Chris on New Year's Eve. i love Jack Black so its a 5/5!

met up with the gang for lunch at Vegan Burg(www.veganburg.com) yesterday and did belated X'mas gift exchange after lunch. i had to get a gift for Alex(who i barely know) so i got a hair and body wash from Body Shop for him. Andrew got me a book by John Gray about personal success. i just got started on it today. i think i kind of like what others have to say about life rather than thinking how it'll help me. im kind of addicted to discovering new things, especially insights, emotions and experiences of life. and i recently enjoy jumping on board trains when their doors are closing. LOL. super fun but not when im alone of course.

we went to play Xbox Kinetic at Cineleisure for 2 hours after the gift exchange. the muscles on my upper arms are achy now thanks to that. LOL.

had dinner before going to a pub with Andrew, Liyi, John and Chris while the rest went home. i was too tired to sing. Chris and i came home at like 10PM. i've been holding him hostage since Friday night and hes staying over tonight too cos his meeting tomorrow is held at a camp nearer to my place.

my belated X'mas presents from him are still with Vpost US :(

speaking of which, im celebrating my birthday with friends at Nabins this Friday and a family dinner at Sushi Tei in celebration of my 22nd this Sunday. i have nothing on on Saturday but i want a birthday weekend! i feel like going to the Zoo or something. Chris is bringing me to RWS for my birthday next weekend cos Hard Rock is fully booked this weekend. i am so stoked. i cant wait! hehe.

2010-12-31T11:41:00.002+08:00

i am jealous!

bro and i have been cooking our lunches since after the Christmas weekend. and its the first time i ever really cook to feed myself.

our first meal was Spinach with Golden Mushrooms and Herb & Garlic Pork with the help of Lawry's Marinade.

Black Pepper Chicken and Chicken Soup with Cabbage and Meatballs.

grocery shopping for Carbonara ingredients

with Mushrooms and Bacon! so good that i gobbled everything down.

believe it or not, i cant cook without my brother cos the food will not taste as good. i told him he should be a chef. haha.

our Ikea furniture are here. the people are installing them now. soon i will be able to take photos of my awesome room :D

screen-shots from my Sims 3 games.

Happy New Year y'all!

2010-12-30T02:51:00.001+08:00

i welcome the new year by sharing my thoughts. i really hope my words do help whoever who reads it in one way or another.

i've not been going out at all. i just wanna stay at home all day. hehe. i guess its pretty normal to feel this way. it barely has anything to do with Sims 3 at all anymore. it has to do with the new house. it has made me soooo really lazy. its like i've lost track of time and the world.

we have waited long enough to call a place of our own. a home is not a home unless you feel at home. the old place was no longer a home to me when we were still staying there cos it was filled of anger and frustrations for me. i had to live under the same roof as someone i despise. i've always believed that i make my own path of life. when i dont like something, i wont tolerate it, i'll do something about it. but the wait to finally be able to move into our own place was something i had to tolerate for months and months and now i am free. we are free. i have not spoken a word to them and i do not intend to. i've always been known to move on at the snap of the finger, at a speed so fast that people label me heartless. i guess its because its kind of against the human nature of the majority.

i used to be selfish, doing things without thinking of the consequences, or what i would bring to others. i've hurt people along the way but i've paid my karma. believe it or not, i actually believe i've paid off my share. its like im in my second life, a new beginning. i am happy. and i want everybody else to be happy too.

放下，一片海阔天空

it is easy to understand the above sentence, you might know what is means in depth, but its not something you tell yourself to do and actually really be able to do so.

people who have done you wrong, they will always haunt you unless you have forgiven them within yourself and let it go. you dont have to let them know that they're forgiven, they might not even have realised their mistakes and the damage that they've done up till now. some leopards really dont change their spots. i myself have cursed them, swore at their names, wished they were dead, waited to see them suffer. but i've come to realise that ultimately, i was the one keeping myself imprisoned through the hatred. whats done is done. no amount of cursing and swearing will turn the facts around. no one is perfect, we all make mistakes so who are we to judge others? different mistakes, some more severe than others but in the end, karma's a bitch. one has to pay for one's actions, maybe not in the exact same way but as severe in depth. trust me, they really do meet their desserts if not sooner, later.

forgive who you can. if god forbids, just forget those you cant forgive. by forgetting is also letting go without having to forgive.

set yourself free.

2010 was a year of new and extreme emotions for me. at the beginning of 2010, i experienced one of the biggest setbacks of my life. i struggled to get back on my feet, i sucked it up even though the pain was excruciating and torturing, i crawled, i stumbled, trying to find my way back up. i was reminded that trust should not be put in people without being wise first. but i have forgiven this person who i ran into and talked to like 2 weeks ago. i hope he finds true happiness. money does nothing to give you that, i hope he realises that one day if he hasnt :)

i gave emotions another shot weeks later in february(or march, i cant remember), and i was struggling to make things right within myself only 2 months into it. things died in the end, but at least i gave my best shot. things just couldnt work out, it wasnt my kind of thing. i wasnt ready to share my life with someone who couldnt wait to do it legally but hes really a good guy though not perfect as he has told me before and i hope he finds his true soul mate!

and then came emotions within myself. i was caught in images and emotions of my abusive past relationships. i was really in one of my peaks of depression. i was imprisoned within myself. i had thoughts of committing suicide to end my pain, i had thoughts of murdering them. that was how much they have did to me to put me in such a deep hatred but i have forgiven them now even though i know they have not changed for the better. i just hope when their judgement day comes, god will have mercy on them.

i was reluctant to give emotions yet a third shot as i wanted to make sure i was really ready for it in august but i did. and i am glad i did. i didnt know my current boyfriend very well even though i've known him since 3 or 4 years back. we are into our 5th month now and things are going well :)

girls tend to be silly, hanging on to guys who are not treating them with respect in hope of them changing for the better. girls, i would say, dont waste your time. you really have no idea who you will meet next. it will really surprise you, trust me on this one. if you even have to doubt someone, then theres seriously something wrong.

i had a foe-turned-friend recently and i wish for happiness to come to her as soon as it can.

i have set myself free, and i am bringing my new self and life into the new year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

2010-12-29T01:34:00.000+08:00

CHRISTMAS FEAST 2010
home-cooked in our new kitchen :)

Baked Potatoes by Fiona

Pasta by Fiona tooo

me chopping carrots. hehe.

i promised Scarlet she wont be left out this year. meatballs for her!

steak in mushroom sauce by Baby. yummm.

Aglio Olio by Fiona

Tomato & Onion Salad and Spicy Shrimps by me!

Minestrone

Baked Potatoes ready to serve!

eat-till-we-die-Christmas :)

K-9 Meatballs for the furball. recipe by Rachael Ray :)

Mommy was supposed to make dessert but she cheated! she bought an ice-cream log cake instead. hahaha.

be back again soon!

2010-12-24T03:45:00.001+08:00

MERRY CHRISTMAS Y'ALL!!

hehe. thats my Christmas tree. im so proud of it cos it looks so darn pretty! i saved around $170 by decorating it myself instead of the one decorated by them(the store). it looks almost completely the same as the one at the store, which i have a vague memory of by now. kinda contradicting, i know.

im tired so im gonna keep it short.

taken a week ago

taken at Wanderlust with my mobile

how i spent my last 2 days.
3 hours of cleaning & unpacking.
the rest of the time were split between sleeping and playing The Sims 3.
Mommy and Fiona got me the expansion pack and 'extra stuff' games.
i know, darn it.
okay, okay.
imma stop procrastinating and get down to business today with the unpacking!!

may your Christmas be a beautiful one :)

2010-12-22T01:02:00.000+08:00

MY CAPTAIN'S BIRTHDAY WEEKEND
♥♥

17th;
dinner with him and his family at UE Square's Gyu Kaku. Wagyu tastes sooooo good. you have to try Gyu Kaku if you havent!

i dont remember what this is but its the only photo i took.

the 2 of us went to LG after dinner for first round of drinks before going to Hollywood to meet up with the usual suspects in celebration of his and Liyi's birthdays.

i'll upload a video of them on stage soon. it was a great night. Jun and Vincent joined us after midnight too.

18th;
Chris and i met up with his friend, Roy, at Ngee Ann City in the evening. Roy bought us dinner at Sushi Tei as Chris's birthday treat. had some mad delicious food. yummm. we then went to the bar that Juccus and Elyse are having their finals of the singing competition which ended only at midnight. Juccus won the Best Vocals though neither of them got the Top 3 spots as the judging criteria consisted not only of voice quality but also votes, star quality, presentation, etc.

19th;
checked into Wanderlust Boutique Hotel in the afternoon. it also happened to be our 4th monthsary that day :)

taking a warm Rain-shower felt so so darn good. orgasmic!

love the ceiling!

mine and his foot prints

20th;

complimentary breakfast was good. i even finished what Baby couldnt. hehe.

i would recommend this hotel to anyone. i dont have any complains about the room. the one we stayed in was small but the quality was there. Kiehl products, coffee-maker, iPod dock, rain-shower, thick bath towels, etc. the breakfast could be better if there were more variety but its acceptable given that its a small hotel and besides, the main course for breakfast tasted good though its just simple eggs, bacon, sausages, mushrooms and tomatoes.

theres a Jazuzzi on level 2 which looked good though we didnt have a dip in it.

its the first time i planned a birthday and surprise(its our secret) for someone. i hope he enjoyed his birthday :) i definitely enjoyed my time with him.

we came to my new place to drop our stuff and boy, the place was still in a mess. the contractor didnt keep her words and meet the deadline but whats done is done, im happy to finally move in.

we went to North Point(or was it..) to meet up with his colleagues. they were gonna visit their CO whose wife just gave birth but my dental appointment was at 3PM so we couldnt join them to his place. i was late for appointment but was lucky that i waited for only 5 minutes.

went to buy new red bedsheets for my bed after that and i got Lauren Conrad's latest book, Sugar & Spice.

i had my dinner at Din Tai Fung. Chris watched me devour 3/4 of the Egg & Shrimps rice and a 4-person-share-bowl of Spicy & Sour soup. he said my stomach is a Black Hole and i told him no, its the Bermuda Triangle. hahaha. you have no idea how much i love their Spicy & Sour soup. yummy!!

we came back to my place after that and started cleaning up and fixing things up. Chris was very helpful to Mommy. lol. hehe :p

21st;
spent the whole day on the Christmas Tree(on and off). its 90% done now. i've just got to get some strings to put up the remaining ornaments. my cupboard was installed today. i'll take photos once i unpack the boxes lying in my room. its so uncomfortable having workers in and out installing furnitures but it'll soon be over.

on a side note, the Farro brothers, Josh & Zac have left Paramore. i had tears in my eyes when i read their announcement on their site on Sunday. i thought it was fake news until i read it. i cannot believe it is happening. 7 years theyve been together as a band. Paramore is Josh, Zac, Hayley, Taylor & Jeremy. its really heart-breaking that they chose to leave the band.

source: http://www.paramore.net/blog/announcement/

"Over the past 6 years, our band has been through some of the most intense and incredible experiences of our lives. None of these things have been without trial. We've worked so hard to get to where we are and the fact that you are all still here with us says something about you that we will never be able to truly understand. You have stuck with us through thick and thin and we are so grateful. A couple of months ago, Josh and Zac let us know they would be leaving the band after our show in Orlando last Sunday. None of us were really shocked. For the last year it hasn't seemed as if they wanted to be around anymore. We want Josh and Zac to do something that makes them happy and if that isn't here with us, then we support them finding happiness elsewhere. But we never for a second thought about leaving any of this behind. We really hope that you can be encouraged by the fact that the three of us who are still here are ready to take on another chapter of our journey together. You have always been what keeps us going so why would we stop now? We want to stick by you. Knowing that we have a unified passion and a clear vision makes us feel stronger than ever.

The "blog" that was posted regarding everything that is going on with our band was a fake. We aren't sure who did it or why... And we aren't sure how they timed it this way. This is the first time that we have spoken out about what's going on and we wouldn't have released an official statement that important through a personal blog. So, we're sorry for any confusion and just to remain clear, this is the first time we have spoken out about this.

We have some amazing things lined up for next year starting with our tour in South America. We are still coming to you and we are excited about who we are bringing with us! The tour is still on and we can't wait to see you all.

As we look back, and now as we look with excitement to the future, in all of this what truly matters are the good times. The pictures of us with our arms around each other, the long van rides, your faces while you sing along as we play. Thank you for getting us right here to this very moment. We look forward to our best times. And we hope you will go there with us."

Love,
Hayley, Jeremy & Taylor
Paramore

i really liked Zac a lot. i love love love his drumming. it will never be the same. but im gonna say what i said on Youtube,

'Josh & Zac leaving the band must have been their last resort. can you imagine how difficult it is to leave something you've built & grown up with. it must have been a very difficult decision to make. 7 years, you dont throw it away like that but since they did, they must have good reasons for doing it. and for Hayley, Taylor & Jeremy, i believe that they know their fans will be heartbroken & that doesnt make them feel any better about the fact that the brothers gave up on the band.'

and,

'true Paramore fans will be strong for Hayley, Taylor & Jeremy and not make negative comments. we will look forward to the future with them!'

by sticking with them is the best way to return the love they and their music have given us no matter how much the truth hurts :)

i have not done neck exercises and practice my strings for 3 days.
im gonna stab myself after i post this.

2010-12-17T14:35:00.001+08:00

YOU'VE GOT TO REACH OUT A LITTLE MORE

my last few lessons with my teacher(especially the last 2, including last night) have been awfully painful for my left hand, especially the fingers. i know im not really supposed to strain my neck at this point of time and playing the violin requires working it but so far its been fine, i havent felt any strain since the last time which was 2 weeks ago. ive just gotta be really careful because i always tend to play on and on whenever i cant get something right.

im starting on pieces with different keys and the 3 pieces above are all in C major. which means playing all the notes at their natural, no sharps (#) and flats (b). sounds simple without the complicating key signatures hur. my ass. it hurts like a bitch on the fingerboard but guess what. all my pain paid off. i see improvements and i am so bloody happy. my second and third finger are really working extra hard, harder than the rest, to get their respective positions right. they are positions no normal being would put their fingers through. i showed the positions to Chris once and that was when i could feel that he really understands the pain and agony im going through. lol. im gonna keep practicing and practicing and practicing. aiming to take my Grade 2 exams in September 2011.

so whatever it is that you're working for, dont be demoralized when you dont see any advancements. there are times when i felt so frustrated that im almost driven to tears cos i cant get my fingers to do their thing but i am very lucky to have a very good violin teacher. if youve been working very hard for something, like me, and yet you feel like youre not getting anywhere, trust me, you've just got to reach out and give a little more.
:)

videos taken by me. nothing significant. just me during one of my practice sessions and Chris singing a song at LG. we're doing dinner with his family in celebration of his birthday later and then drinking with the gang at Clarke Quay tonight. im not supposed to drink if i wanna get rid of my Hemorrhoid faster. we'll see how it goes. lol.

enjoy your weekend :)

2010-12-16T18:20:00.001+08:00

teehee :)

had a pot of hot African(if im not wrong) tea at this cafe at Ngee Ann City with Chris in the evening yesterday before buying some Japanese food to-go at the basement of Takashimaya.

its funny how people refer to Ngee Ann City as Takashimaya. Takashimaya is just the department store in Ngee Ann City!

it was LG's anniversary and there was a free-flow of beer from 7-9PM. i only had 2 or 3 bottles of Carlsberg though. the draft tastes so much better. had my Absolut(more like Chris's but that means mine too. lol) after 9. it was a good night. my good old friend, Dave, who i have not seen since i was 19 or something, came by with his friends! and the usual suspects were there as well.

photo taken by Kyle

i dont get how my boyfriend looks so young when hes already turning 29. i dont think i'll look the same when im 29. drats.

ive been crying on an average of twice a week. i am stressed out about my health. i have yet another health condition, diagnosed by myself by Googling and it has nothing to do with the neck problem. i know, tell me about it! fuck. its not the most pleasant topic alright. its called Hemorrhoid. its too awkward for me to go into details and i dont wanna gross everyone out so Google it yourself but please dont make fun of me cos i am depressed enough and i am only sharing it on my blog to remind everyone how important one's health is. I AM ONLY 21 but i am already facing health problems like that. they might not be severe now but imagine what things might be few years down the road. so, please, please, please, take good care of yourself and your loved ones.

i am not surprised that i have Hemorrhoid because i dont drink water. at all. so yeah, im gonna drink about 7 glasses of water every day now and buy some supplements. hopefully things will get better and i dont have to see a doctor about it. can you imagine telling the doctor you're bleeding from your ass when youre taking a crap. shoot me. im not doing it.

HELL YEAH. we are moving in 4 days. woohooo!!

2010-12-15T01:20:00.003+08:00

my first physio therapy was a nightmare. my therapist is a very nice(thank god) Caucasian lady. i cant stop looking at her green eyes. haha. shes very sweet and pretty. thats the only good part of it all though.

she took me through some simple neck stretches(dont underestimate them) and asked me if i felt any pain. my pain came from doing 'left ear to left shoulder' and the right side as well.

then she had me laid face down and started exerting force across areas on my neck and shoulders and asked if i felt any pain. most of my answers were yes.

and the next thing i know, she used all her strength(i cant tell if it was all cos even a little feels a lot on my affected muscles) to press on the painful areas. i really wished i was dead(i was texting Chris before my therapy and i said im gonna die during the therapy and he said i wont die but i'll wish that i was dead). on a scale of 1-10, i'll rate the pain at 10. no wonder my Orthopedist suggested taking some painkillers before my therapy. LOL. i didnt and i paid the price. i dont even think painkillers will kill that kind of pain. is it normal to experience that kind of pain during therapy? isnt it gonna do more harm than help? even the anesthetic jabs during my teeth extractions months ago were only a 9/10 at the most painful spots(behind the upper 2 front teeth).

Chris called me after i paid for my therapy and i started crying while talking to him. LOL. i literally walked around the hospital crying. its like delayed reaction from the pain. i wanted to do some shopping after my therapy but i was so in a state of shock from the pain that i couldnt even think straight and ended up going home. i felt like my life was sucked out of me. i bought some food home and took a nap after eating. I HAVE NEVER SLEPT SO WELL in the recent weeks.

my therapist gave me some neck exercises to do on a daily basis.

my next therapy is on the 28th.
who wants to go on a ride to hell with me?

2010-12-14T12:02:00.000+08:00

INCEPTION

someone is doing it to me, i swear. i just had a dream that was so damn real and the problem is i already have a boyfriend in real life. omg.

i dreamed that i was fucking(its really the word that best describe the feeling) in love with this guy and hes Indo-Chinese. i know hes Indo-Chinese because i read something typed out by him about himself. you know what the scariest part of the dream was?? he called my Mom and told her he bought tables for us(i have really yet to buy my bedroom table in real life!), they are transparent, i assume they're the acrylic or glass ones and they are at waist-height cos after my Mom hang up on the phone call with him, she described it to me.

and i think he proposed to me. wtf? and in the dream, we were gonna move to his huge-ass house instead of our own new house. super random and super weird.

i have 2 videos taken at home last night to share. the first one is freaking funny. watch!

2010-12-13T17:42:00.000+08:00

10th;
went to play L4D2 with Chris and his colleagues at Middle Road in the afternoon. i was the sole survivor(im always the first to make a run cos im pretty freaked out though i dont show it). i freaking hate Dark Carnival's finale cos its difficult. lol. i dont like games that leave me stressed out. or in fact, anything that leaves me stressed out.

Chris and i went shopping for his Christmas present(from me) after the game. he told me he wanted a leather bag weeks ago so we went hunting for one and got this. he was grinning widely when he took it out and used it for the first time 2 days after. haha. awwww.

we had dinner at the basement of Takashimaya, the place where me and Jun ate at a week ago. i failed to catch its name again. i promise to make it up with a photo next time.

went to LG for drinks. Andrew joined us shortly after we were there. i recorded a voice memo of Chris singing my favorite song(i've never heard the original song sung by Jay Chou btw) with my iPhone. hehe.

Memo.m4a

i dont know if the link to the record works but you can try.

11th;
woke up after 4.5 hours of sleep to go to a graduation ceremony of Chris's mom's in the morning. went back home to catch up on our sleep in the afternoon and went to LG for a short while at night. i got my Victoria's Secret stuff from Kyle. hehe. went to Lunar's Live Lounge after that as recommended by Juccus and Andrew who joined us soon after we were there.

took a photo of Chris while he was singing on the stage :p

omg. i think every guy should get his girlfriend something from Victoria's Secret for Christmas or her birthday or even Valentine's Day. i dont know about them but just looking at the paper bag alone makes me uber happy. how silly.

thanks to my best guy friend, Kyle! he actually went to 5 VS boutiques in all to look for my items :D

12th;
went to Twister again to get my bangs trimmed. Chris's Monsoon card has like 11000+ points in it. getting my bangs trimmed cost 500 points, that means i get to have my bangs trimmed like the next 22 times(he did the equation, not me, i cant do math to save my life) for free. LOL.

and we finally went to get a Christmas tree for my new house :D

i was walking around the store, picking ornaments when all of a sudden i saw my Mom standing there just staring at me. LOL. i didnt know she was coming cos i didnt see her text. anyway, Chris and i left the tree and ornaments at the new house. its gonna take me a couple of hours to put it up(Mom estimated that the number of ornaments i got probably add up to a hundred) next week after moving :D i cant wait to share photos of it here when its up! its gonna be really colorful as you can tell from the photo. IM SO STOKED!!!

oh yeah, i didnt go to Zoukout because i figured i dont wanna be caught in the traffic and human jam and all. i hope every one who went had fun for me!

2010-12-10T10:00:00.002+08:00

random.

gotta go!

2010-12-09T17:46:00.000+08:00

Chris bought me that tee from Australia the other time :)

i slept for 14 hours last night. my goodness. but honestly speaking, the muscle relaxants that i've been taking are improving my sleep quality. i still do dream a little but not as much and as long. im supposed to take the pills thrice a day but i've been taking them only once at night. im not willing to sleep thrice a day from the drowsiness that i'll get from the pills.

had dinner at LJS before catching Skyline last night.
♥♥♥♥♥

i gave it a 2/5 but i felt it was only worth a 1.5/5.
the ending hints a part II though.

planning a trip to KL in celebration of my birthday.
:)

plans for the remaining of this week-
violin lesson tonight.
practice session tomorrow before going to LG in the late evening.
shopping for Chris's and my Xmas presents on Saturday.
get a Christmas tree and bring it over to the new house on Sunday.

next week is gonna be a busy one all the way till Christmas.
im gonna start packing my stuff for moving on Monday.
and Tuesday will be my first session of Physiotherapy. i have no idea what im in for.

2010-12-08T15:00:00.001+08:00

SHOE WHORE

Louboutins to die for.

shoes make my heart skip a beat.
i am obsessed with them.
i am in love with them.
every time i see a nice pair,
its like they're talking to me,
casting a spell on me,
and it makes me wanna bring them home.

shoes, they can either complement you or fail you.
its all about picking the right pair, and picking the right outfit to go with it.
sometimes i see women on the streets wearing the wrong pair,
it makes their legs look even bigger and fatter than they are or already are.
especially women who are not as privileged in the height department,
wearing the wrong pair can easily make them look stocky.

for me, i cannot wear certain shoes cos my feet is bony.
i tend to wear open-toed booties like the ones you see above(except the last two) so they dont show my bony feet.
whenever i put on a pair of stilettos to try at a boutique,
i will go to a full length mirror and look at myself in all 360 degrees.
yes, even the back view. in fact, the back view is the most important.
the heel of any shoes can either make you or break you.
short and stocky women should not go for a bulky heel.
even for myself, i never go for a bulky heel cos my legs are pretty slim,
i dont wanna look like im dragging my shoes around.

another good way to know whether a pair looks good on you is to put them on at the boutique, walk around in them, and if you get the attention of the other women(or even their men) around you, looking at you from head to toe, you got it. the shoes are working their magic on you.

however, if the other women only look at your feet(or their men dont look at all), it simply mean only the shoes have got their attention, and it might even mean that they believe the pair will look better on them than on you.

and there's no rule that says tall girls should not wear stilettos.
if you're blessed with long legs, i'd say you're stupid to not wear them cos you're born to wear them!
;)

my favorite milk.
yummm.

2010-12-06T20:44:00.002+08:00

3rd;
went to this bar at Outram area with Chris to support Juccus for the semi-finals of a singing competition. he got into the Finals with the highest score, our support didnt go in vain :)

4th;
went to the new house with Chris, and we were really late. haha. Mommy was already there to accept the deliveries of some appliances.

my Italian tiles are laid(covered with cardboard when i was there)! painting up next. moving in 2 weeks!

was already at The Verge to get a Christmas tree only to know that they dont do deliveries, and the new house isnt ready yet so i have to get it at a later date. i was upset that i couldnt get it there and then. hehe. i feel so silly about it now.

had dinner at Wheelock Place; SUN with MOON after getting my new mascara and lip-gloss at Galleria.

that was what i ordered - Beef and Foie Gras Teppanyaki set
yummmmm. told the best friend i'll bring her there some time.

headed to the same bar at Outram after dinner to support Elyse for the second round of semi-finals. she went through to the Finals too. i believe its gonna be a show down between the couple. i'll record their performance on camera on the 18th :)

met Jun and Vincent at Wine Bos for wine later that night followed by beer & Shisha at Nabins followed by Vodka & partially-drunk-singing at LG for an hour before leaving for home at 4AM. it was a long day and awesome night though someone was asleep 3/4 of the time :p

5th;

caught The Chronicles of Narnia; The Voyage of The Dawn Treader with Chris, Juccus and Elyse.
♥♥♥♥♥

i love The Chronicles of Narnia so much. its like being a child again, like having a really beautiful dream. i hope i'll dream of being in Narnia some day, my mind is crazy enough to do it in detail.

6th; today
went for my appointment with the Orthopedist at TTSH in the morning. had an X-ray done after signing on a paper to state that im not pregnant. LOL. the X-ray did not show any problem with the bones in my neck. the Orthopedist did not mention exactly what i am experiencing, just said its likely blah blah blah, i cannot make out the term he used. anyway, i have to do Physiotherapy starting next week cos its obviously not healing on its own despite having stopped working for 2 weeks and see him again in mid-January. if things do not improve by then, i have to do a MRI. i really hope its not a case of misdiagnose. i have to take muscle relaxants for the time being too. you should see the amount of pills they gave me, i feel so sick at the thought of having all these things in my system. i really hate popping pills because they make me feel like im harming my body.

i bought some really cool wall stickers at Novena Square to stick on my new bedroom wall and the glass door of the shower in the new bathroom. i hope i dont mess them up cos im really not a DIY-person.

met Jun at Ion and she brought me to this place at the basement of Takashimaya for lunch. i dont like to eat fish but the one that i had, Japanese-style, is good. i wished there was one more of slice of it when i finished both of mine. was too occupied with talking so i did not take a photo of the food.

i got 3 casual tops from Zara and a pair of heels(Mom is gonna flip again) and something for Chris's birthday. its a secret till then ;)

im really tired today so pardon me for any spelling or grammatical error. havent been sleeping well recently.

hehe. that red-bling frame belongs to Fiona(but thats me in the photo). she used it as a prop for her cheer-leading gig at the Standard Chartered Marathon.

i have few videos to share before i go off to have my dinner.

the first is, of course, the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show 2010 that went on just 6 days ago. there are 4 parts, im just gonna post the first. i love Rosie's killer studded-wings in the first segment. i'll kill to own them even though they barely serve any purpose.

and this mandarin song composed and sung by G.E.M is a must-listen. she does the 海豚音, that means 'sound of a dolphin' in english, towards the end of the song. i dont listen to mandarin songs but this one is so meaningful and sung-well that every word hits your heart.

oh, my Hayley can do the 'dolphin sound' too. and in a higher pitch. she makes it look as easy as ABC in this video :)

shes freaking awesome. if you dont like her, it must mean you havent heard her sing live. so heres 2 of my favorites, Decode and Misery Business, acoustic.

i dont post videos that waste my time and effort.
so enjoy them :)

2010-12-03T11:53:00.000+08:00

FIND SOMEONE WHO WILL:

Never get tired of kissing you everyday

Hug you when you're jealous

Understandingly keep silent when you're mad

Squeeze your hand when you're not in the mood

Plan and Imagine the future with you in it

and when you find that someone.. never let go

LETTING GO:

To let go isnt to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesnt leave feelings of anger, jealousy or regret. Letting go isnt winning, and it isnt losing. Its not about pride, and its not about how you appear, its not about obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isnt blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, it doesnt leave emptiness, hurt or sadness. Its not giving up, or giving in. Letting go isnt about loss, and it isnt defeat. To let go of something is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. Its having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is accepting, its learning, its experiencing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that once made you cry, laugh, love and grow. Its about all that you had and all you still have. Letting go is having the courage to accept change and the strength to keep moving. Its growing up, realising that a heart can sometimes change and it can also be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, clear a path and set yourself free.

i will not be back until monday.
going over to my new house tomorrow and gonna shop for a christmas tree after that :D

video of me playing during one of my practice sessions.
video-ing myself enables me to see my mistakes that is not visible to you unless you are a violinist :P

speaking of that, i strained my neck during my lesson last night :(
i really ought to learn to take care of myself better.
enjoy your weekend.
ttyl :)

2010-12-03T02:48:00.002+08:00

MY LATE NIGHT CONFESSIONS I

i have trust issues
i cant trust people
i always believe that people have something up their sleeves
and that everyone will change over time
other than my family and my best friend
i barely trust anyone
theres a fine line between believing and trusting
i might believe you but it doesnt mean that i trust you
its an immunity that was built up in me
its a protection my mind has over my heart

i have people calling me heartless
whether it was as a friend or something more
my explanation is still the same
my heart doesnt feel for people who dont deserve it
i once had a pure heart too
but time and people have taught me to not be gullible
believe with your eyes, not your ears
the heart is blind, the mind is not
i would like to learn to trust again
but my mind says no

for they will live with regrets, while we're the regret.
xx

2010-12-02T15:39:00.002+08:00

SIPPIN' SIZZURP IN MY RIDE LIKE THREE 6

im turning 22 in like 40 days. getting old!!!
:(

18 days to moving-day. c.a.n.t w.a.i.t.
18 days to Chris's birthday as well.
i have so much to do.
ahhhhhhhh!

2010-12-01T23:35:00.000+08:00

he may be tough at work

he may have men calling him Sir

but when hes with me

hes the sweet guy i call mine

after a long day at work

i can see the tiredness in his eyes

and nothing makes me happier

than tucking him into bed

and watch him get his good night's sleep

♥♥

2010-11-30T15:56:00.000+08:00

JUST LIKE THAT, I DONT CARE

i present to you, my dope hair.

so dope that i dont bear to wash it.
its a mixture of brown, red, orange or whatever you call it, unintentionally.
the unevenness is caused by my previous hair color. Kenny has already tried to balance them up but due to me having dyed a few bright colors previously, the older part of the hair does not absorb a new color as successfully as the roots.

was planning our X'mas Feast menu last night and heres what we came up with.

soup and salad - me
potatoes and pasta - Fiona & boyfriend
shrimps - Fpeed
steak - Chris
cake - Mommy
special K-9 meatballs for Scarlet - me!

last year when we were having our Christmas dinner, Scarlet had nothing special to eat so i promised her that this year she will not be left out :)

i was bored so i decided to do some shots for my next profile picture on FB so excuse my repetitive photos. cut them down to the 4 so i can pick 1.

i dont know about you but for me, i dont care what people think of me. i dont do things that i dont like, that includes studying. i wanted to drop E-math in my upper secondary school years. im glad i did not bother putting in effort to improve on that subject because i hate it to the bones. im proud of my F9. why should i do something i dont like? you dont waste your time and energy on someone you dont like too, right? its the same. just because everyone has to get good grades, it doesnt mean i have to be the same.

money is a need but its not everything. i might do something i enjoy, but ultimately, its to pay for my violin lessons and to keep myself alive. my private lessons dont cost a lot at the moment, but i'd rather spend more time working on it because theres no other thing i want more in life than to master it. i want to do it full-time. i want to be a violin student full-time for the next 10-15 years. if i have a choice, i dont want to work but instead spend my days playing and practicing my strings. this is the life i want. not a slave to a job or a career, but to live my life doing something i love. just me and my strings, for life.

just because everyone else is striving for a high-flying career, it doesnt mean i have to be the same. just because everyone else is making as much money as they can, it doesnt mean i have to be the same. and not being the same doesnt mean i am weaker because i would rather spend my time and energy on something thats very important to me.

its a month to the end of 2010, what would you regret not doing if youre in the last month of your life?

2010-11-29T16:47:00.003+08:00

26th; Sitex
Chris bought a LG Optimus 7(which made me despise my annoying 3GS so ive decided i want the 4) and it came with a Xbox 360. i didnt get anything cos the choices of iPod dock stations were limited and given my awesome taste and liking for things(which always come with a hefty price-tag LOL), i didnt like any of them. boo.

we had dinner at like 11PM at T2's Swensens. one of the best Swensens, ive gotta say.

27th; JB
went to JB with Mommy and Chris to look at furniture. bought my bed and awesome wardrobe there. cant wait till our house is ready. im so excited to share photos of my room here :p
my shoulders started hurting at JB, i wasnt even exerting any energy and neither was i carrying anything. its weird.

28th;
got my haircut, color and treatment at Jurong Point's Twister. my hair is red now and i freaking love it. will upload a photo of it soon. Chris got his haircut and scalp treatment while i was getting my hair done. the technician who colored my hair is Kenny but the one who mixed the color is Steven, who cut mine and Chris's hair. both are good. when i went there for the first time to trim my bangs, the female hairstylist who did it was damn stuck up, i will not ever freaking have her touch my hair again. Oscar at Hougang Mall's Twister is good too, he put in a lot of effort into just trimming my bangs.

we're having a family X'mas Feast complete with guest-list, menu and dress code. when Sharon organizes something, it wont disappoint ;) im going christmas shopping soon. my christmas tree is gonna be dope. DOPE. but i think i have something more important to worry about, making soup for the feast. i have never tried making soup out of a can, not to mention from scratch. i'll work something out :p Fiona & Clarke are gonna whip up a side and a main. Chris is doing a main, Speed most probably a side, Mommys doing dessert, so that leaves me with the soup even though i'd rather whip up my signature salad.

any music that gets you moving is good music, any music that makes you feel is good music. some people are just so serious when it comes to music, insulting and criticizing modern music. these people must be as boring as the music they appreciate.

2010-11-26T13:18:00.001+08:00

went all the way to my teacher's place last night and she wasnt at home so i called her and came to know that she forgot to inform me about not being able to make it for our lesson. she kept apologizing and even asked me for forgiveness. haha. how cute. she said she'll reimburse me and asked me to take a cab home. i was walking under the light rain with only my hoodie over my head but its okay, shes a great teacher, i wasnt even angry.

Chris's skin after a neat amount of alcohol

Mom and Fiona said its like burnt skin. LOL. i got the shock of my life when it first happened in Bintan cos normally we'll be drinking in the dark so its not visible. im kinda used to it now though i was still pretty amazed when i saw it for the second time and took the photo above.

only she can pull off the orange hair. Hayley ♥

going to Sitex with Chris and colleagues later. JB tomorrow.

2010-11-25T16:20:00.001+08:00

good afternoon, starshines ♥

the Sun is blazing and boy am i glad to be home after having lunch with Chris's mom and sister at his place before going over to my workplace to bring some stuff home.

my fur ball has been wearing a buster collar for like 2 weeks already due to superficial wounds from scratching. she has developed some skin problems but nothing too serious, possibly heat rash.

here she is sleeping on my lap now

shes the sweetest little thing. so protective of me and gets jealous really easily. she doesnt allow the other dog, Juno, to come near me at all.

im coping better with my current situation though not totally. figured you know, im 21 now. it doesnt matter that i take a break as long as i dont stop. if i were to go back to work, it might aggravate my condition and i might end up injuring myself further and that might lead to taking a longer time to heal or end up not being able to do the things i love anymore.

i know my blog hits have been going down the past few weeks and i can totally understand why. ive been too busy and tired to really sit down and type and let anything personal or any emotions out other than posting a few photos and a few words.

my breakfast whipped up by Mommy 2 mornings ago

i have been working and working and slogging for the past year with no complains because i was doing something i love even though it gets really really really tiring. i miss work, but i am glad too to finally have the chance to take a real breather. its been so long since i woke up and do appreciate the Sun, the skies, the trees, the fresh air and everything nature has to offer. i think one needs to slow down and take a look at the beautiful things that are given to us at no cost to be reminded of our direction in life and stay rooted to ourselves and the ground.

i know life has treated us unfairly at times, people have done us wrong at times, no one can force us to do something we're not prepared to do, eg, to forgive. i dont think i can ever forgive the people who have done me wrong, who have not respected me, but i try to move on, not let the memories haunt me. i keep positive and genuine people around me and cast all the others out. some people just whine and complain about life all day. life is tough to everyone. its how you make the best out of it. filter your friends, filter the people you know, dont waste time on people who waste their lives away.

nothing is perfect. it comes down to the people you love. i find myself questioning my boyfriend's actions and reactions at times, how they seem to be lack of concern. but at the same time, i know it is because he respects me and treats me as an adult mature enough to judge and decide for myself despite me being 8 years younger. and i find myself behaving pretty similar to him, and i ask myself why and i know its because i know and trust him to be matured enough to make the right decisions. hes such a darling, nothing is wrong with us, not to worry. i like a man who doesnt feel inferior, who is not obsessed with me, who is not insecure or paranoid and just love me. thats my boyfriend.

had dinner last night with him and his colleagues before going to Jurong Point to catch Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part I.

♥♥♥♥♥

caught Red not too long ago
♥♥♥♥♥

2 humble videos of me playing Hoedown. first video consist of some wrong notes and were kinda rushed through at parts. my bowing was more unstable and shaky in the second.

its raining!

2010-11-23T01:40:00.000+08:00

i literally didnt have to wait for my turn at the dental clinic to see my orthodontist in the late afternoon and a doctor at TTSH's A&E department after that. managed to get a referral to see a specialist but the appointment is in 2 weeks' time.

i wasted 54 bucks on Sunday to see a old man who gave me a tube of Fastum gel, pain killers and muscle relaxants but just refuses to give me a referral letter. he claims its not necessary unless things get worse even after the relaxants. he gave me a day's MC. dude, one doesnt have to be a GP like you to know no amount of medication will work if you continue straining overworked and stressed muscles. he said things like MRI and Physiotherapy at the worst scenario if i really do end up having to go to the hospital. i should have just went to a hospital. bloody hell. AND the relaxants cause drowsiness. he expects me to take them 3 times a day and not feel drowsy and be able to work. damn stupid.

somehow i am seeing a Orthopedist. never thought it could be associated with my bones. i thought it was just the muscles and from the GP, found out that my nerves are affected and the TTSH doctor who saw me says its likely Cervical Spondylosis(you have no idea how many times i entered these 2 words into the Google search bar). best part was i didnt ask if i am fit to go back to work and i refused an MC cos i thought i dont need one as i already took a week off. i dont think i can ever go back to work in this state. it doesnt hurt to the state that i have to use a pain reliever or bring tears to my eyes when im not working, eg, now. but i can just feel the threat of a birth of a migraine at certain angles when i move my neck. it comes from the back of it. i dont know how long its gonna take to heal, i dont know when i can go back to work(no one told me i cant, i just know cos my body was showing bad signs on Saturday), i dont know what the hell am i supposed to do now. i dread wearing glasses, avoid wearing hairbands, keep the music volume halved when im plugged in so as to not trigger a migraine. i take breaks more often during my violin practices, trying not to overwork my neck, find the most comfortable sleeping position on the pillow for my neck and head. i cant swim because the last 2 times that i did, i had to stop cos they gave me freaking bad migraines

i cried myself to sleep last night, unable to deal with the sudden situation i am facing. Chris fell asleep way before me and was too much of a log to realize i was crying my eyes out or hear me sobbing despite being just beside me. i couldnt bear to wake him up cos he has to work in the morning even though i would die to have his arms wrapped around me, protecting me from the emotional monsters that were attacking me. but i woke up to a very thoughtfu(in my opinion) text(refer to Plurk) from him and sure enough, sleepyhead-me was smiling from my heart.

the flu bug is still enjoying its stay in me.
its getting late, i really should get my rest now.

good night from little me whos fighting to stay smiling..

2010-11-22T00:20:00.000+08:00

cant seem to resize the photos or font while using Google Chrome. well, im at Chris's place now and hes sleeping. i've been sleeping after taking Panadol Flu Max last night and this afternoon so i can barely sleep now.

i have not been well these few days. been feeling very tired despite the normal sleeping hours which used to work for me, caught the flu bug from Billy which has not left me after 4 panadols and sufficient rest, very vexed and troubled over my muscle issues which left me in great pain at work yesterday. practically drove me to tears and several texts to Chris saying i cant take it, i cant take it. Salonpas was sprayed and quite a generous amount too but i could still feel the pain in my right neck and shoulder area.

this problem started like 3-4 months ago and it seems to be worsening. nature of my job is physically demanding, been overworking my already stressed muscles. went to see a GP just now but as expected, they are pretty useless, cant explain or do much except to prescript medication that do nuts. i asked for a referral but he just refused to refer me to a specialist. i've decided to go to a hospital tomorrow as advised by Evan, who also has a muscle problem but at a different area.

fingers still not seasoned from playing the violin yet.

i enjoy my job even though its darn tiring, enjoy looking at the familiar faces of the fur balls who come in so very often though i get bitten every now and then, enjoy working with my dear Evan and bosses even though they have cold wars between them sometimes, dont even get me started. im so prone to crying recently.

i am at a crossroad. i dont know what im gonna do. i know it will never be the same without the familiarity of everything that revolves around work. now i know what Evan meant. i never used to quite understand where she comes from but now i do. how i love getting kisses from my dear babies at work, especially on Fridays. if i were to leave, i swear i'll miss everything and everyone so much.

i dont have much of a choice actually. the pain runs all the way from both sides of my temples down to my lower back, along the spine. i know it because Chris has been the one massaging the areas this few months and he seems to know the right places. i can continue working, but i dont know if the intense pain will hit me again. even if i were to see a specialist, i know ultimately that the best way to heal and recover is to rest and not work and stress my muscles further.

well, i'll see what the doctor or specialist says tomorrow. i have to go to the hospital alone :( i hate waiting cos i cant sit still.

Starbuck's Belgian Waffles are love

ive not been my cheerful self recently.

sigh.

2010-11-12T21:31:00.002+08:00

OOH BABY BABYY

this new song by Pitbull is so hot. girls, you should listen to him sing the above 3 words. so hot. and the last line of the song ;)

someone is running across my mind wearing nothing.
i can be your girl and you can be my man.

no, i dont mean Pitbull this time :p

Chris got this for me from Aussie. it sleeps on his bed now. im sooooo envious. i wish im the one on his bed now. hehe. chose to come home after work cos i have a lot of practising to do from the lesson with my teacher last night. with weekend and the upcoming public holiday, i'll be spending most of my time at his place. my weeks are like planned at least a week in advance.

went to collect my passport this morning before going to work. i look like fuck in my passport photo, by the way. i had zero makeup on and had to sweep my bangs to one side. somehow i dont really give a shit about how i look in that damn photo but you should have seen Mom and Fiona's face when they looked at it on separate occasions. hahaha.

Finger Twisters, drove me crazy trying to get it right.

old photo of me taken when i was 18 or 19.

thats it for now.
im gonna have an awesome weekend with my boyfriend and friends, drinking, having fun and making some love ;)

spread the love.
xx

2010-11-09T21:14:00.000+08:00

so, i went to the airport at 4AM last Friday, waited for like 40 minutes before he came out of the arrival gate. it was so heartwarming seeing other families and girlfriends giving their son/boyfriend big long hugs when they exited the arrival gate. im so glad to have him back with me. you have no idea. i had a traumatic nightmare about him passing away and not ever coming back(it was so goddamn real) just few nights before, woke up crying for like 15 minutes and was in shock for i-dont-know-how-long before i drifted back to sleep. now i know how it feels like to lose a loved one and i dont ever wanna feel that in reality.

spend the whole long weekend with him, 4D 4N, despite having to work on Saturday. he sent me to work for the first time that day and Audrey was teasing me going 'this must be your happiest Saturday ever' in reference to my 'best.thursday.ever' post on FB few days before. hehe.

caught The Last Exorcism with Evan on Thursday night. we had a beer like half an hour before the show began and we felt the urge to pee 10 minutes into the movie but none of us told each other about it until after the show. hahaha. didnt wanna be influenced by each other to go to the ladies' and miss part of the show so we tolerated. how stupid.

anyway, the movie sucked.
♥♥♥♥♥

caught Megamind in 3D with him on Friday.
♥♥♥♥♥

and Due Date on Sunday
♥♥♥♥♥

loved it like i loved The Hangover.

Candice Swanepoel is so fucking hot.

im gonna have a wet dream tonight.

2010-11-03T21:07:00.001+08:00

ONE IN A MILLION

random photos

aiming to go to bed at 10PM. extremely tired recently, i guess due to that time of the month approaching.

my 3-week break from drinking and having fun is almost over.
;)

2010-10-30T12:32:00.000+08:00

MY BIGGEST WISHES IN LIFE;

Meet Hayley Williams and have a photo taken with her,

See the Northern Lights(Aurora),

Master Grade 8 of the violin,

Go backpacking in another country for 3 months

Sit back and watch me realize them over the years. :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-10-28T19:17:00.000+08:00

HIGH ABOVE THE STARS

Absence is to love is what wind is to fire, if its a small fire the wind will blow it off but if its a big fire, the wind will cause it to spread - DVF

went for lunch at Pepper Lunch with the siblings after a visit to Twister to get my bangs trimmed. im in love with this Hokkaido Milk Bun from this bakery at the basement of Hougang Mall, so good and so addictive. my appetite is huge recently.

mine vs Speed's

had a short swim and tanning session just now. migraine has been hitting me since last night. it was so bad last night(plus the lovesick) that i started tearing. i so need a hug and be cradled to sleep.

gonna take a shower now and have dinner at home. violin lesson at 930PM.
Halloween is approaching! i intend to keep it a quiet one this year at home with Mommy & co.

Happy Halloween, y'all!
xxx

2010-10-26T21:47:00.002+08:00

AN ANGRY AND ANNOYING POST

bitten by a Pug last Thursday. i swear it was the most painful one yet. my pinky felt like it was on fire. no bleeding but my vein is injured. when i stroke the inner part of my pinky along where the "hole" is in the picture is, it hurts and feels numb at the same time. bad news man. i hope i dont have to see a doctor. its been almost a week. and i injured my thumb as well( tiny bit of skin came off) that Thursday morning while bringing Scarlet out of the house, its still recovering cos i've been forgetting to put a plaster over it to protect it AND i got a cut at the back of my ear the other day, i think it was Saturday, i was squatting down at my workplace and stood up without knowing one of the cage's metal door was open above me so i ramped my ear right into it. well, i cant see how bad the cut is but according to Evan, it looks pretty deep. FML. and i have not even mentioned that the inner corner of my left eye has been hurting. triggered by the haze last week or something. what the flying fuck. my luck has been so bad since he left. and i strained a muscle in my right thigh today. fuck, like seriously.

ARGH. and i miss him like fucking nuts. everything just makes me feel worse. new colleague who cant seems to do a shit right. ARGHHH. ARGHHHHHHHHHH.

no boyfriend to listen to my rantings and complains and go 'awww, *strokes my head*', give me orgasm-ing massages(not literally, at least not when it comes to shoulder and back massages), hug me to sleep, kiss my forehead, etc, etc is god damn bad. im becoming a psycho bitch and im starting to PMS. triple FML. whats gonna become of me when i still have to take all this shit alone for 8 days before Chris is back. i think imma be a serial killer or something. the shotgun and pistol and made from paper, for your info. im not sure what kinda paper Speed used. i love the shotgun. the reloading thingy is movable. my brother is a genius.

im in my homely season. its a damn cycle. one moment i cant stop going out, drinking, having fun, the next moment i just come home after work everyday and not even wanting to go out on nights before my off days and off days itself. freaking weird.

i am so lovesick, i swear.

imma go practise my strings, do some laundry and hide under my blank-y and cry myself to sleep.

ARGH!

2010-10-24T00:34:00.000+08:00

i miss those eyes, how you kiss me at night,
i miss the way we sleep
like theres no sunrise, like the taste of your smile,
i miss the way we breathe.

11 days before you're back..
♥♥

2010-10-21T20:25:00.001+08:00

HALLOWEEN HORRORS 2010
with Chris, Girlfriend and Vin at Night Safari

the last remaining photos from Girlfriend's camera taken in Bintan.

movies i've watched in the recent weeks.

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i loved Reign of Assassin. i didnt expect much from it at the beginning due to the cast but it really surprised me with its plot.

in boyfriend's tee

last night

well, kinda lost track of what i've been doing. been going to Haji Lane every Wednesday night with friends, had dinner with Chris and his family in celebration of his father's birthday on Monday at Brotzeit; Vivo City. we had German food and beer. sent Chris off at the airport on Tuesday morning before going to work. he'll be back on Deepavali's morning at like 3AM. so glad it falls on a PH so i can go and meet him when he touches down.

went to Juccus's showroom on Sunday with Chris and Mommy. we got all our tiles from Hafary except Mom and Speed's bedroom tiles, which is from a sister company of theirs. i got this chandelier for me and sis's room as well.

my favorite place in the world; his room

brought Scarlet with me to work today for grooming.

okay, i've gotta go for now.
i have some other stuff to do.
be back soon.
xx.

2010-10-20T19:15:00.001+08:00

They wanted me to be a simple and ordinary girl.

Tried to make me one.

What made them fell for me at the first place wasn't even because I am simple and ordinary.

I'm not even one.

They couldn't deal with it, they couldn't handle me.

Should have just asked them to look for a simple and ordinary girl instead.

Cos I'm nothing ordinary.

I am anything but ordinary.

And I bring a hell lot of life to one who can handle and accept me for who I am.

I love my boyfriend, who's miles away :)

xx,
Your koala

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

2010-10-14T15:03:00.002+08:00

reaching home 2 hours ago with my Subway Wrap

my big current project; designing me and Fiona's room in our new place.

checklist;

Brazilian ceramic parquet-looking tiles.
red and off white wall colors. (looking out for unique textures for wall if not red)
black chandelier.
lampshades for table and wall above mirror.
velvet curtains.
full 2m length mirror(freaking awesome to have high ceilings).
bed.
L-shaped wardrobe.
table and stool.

accessories, ornaments and paintings later on.

im inquiring about this Venetian-style set. i know they have the mirrors and table but im not sure if they have the stool as well. would be great if they do, probably just change the color of the cushion of the stool to black.

i wanna settle my tiles and walls this weekend.

i am uber thirsty and Speed doesnt seems to be buying a drink home for me. i'll probably walk Scarlet and buy it myself after this before swimming.
ciao.

2010-10-12T22:39:00.000+08:00

LA LA LA

this is my lunch today. i had 2 Muesli bars and a watermelon. didnt finish the mango cos it wasnt sweet at all.

went downstairs to swim again earlier on. i feel so sinful after drinking a cup of honey red tea with pearls after that. should have skipped the pearls, i know.

Haji lovin' tomorrow.
xxx

♥ SHARON'S Sweets

i miss those eyes, how you kiss me at night,i miss the way we sleeplike theres no sunrise, like the taste of your smile,i miss the way we breathe.

i miss those eyes, how you kiss me at night,
i miss the way we sleep
like theres no sunrise, like the taste of your smile,
i miss the way we breathe.